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I hope this isn't true, I could have infected Wallasey and destroyed the ozone layer, my comic cuts have been overactive lately.

Are you bragging , Casper ? Maybe you're the reason why our peninsular in known as 'windy Wirral ' ?

We can't really cough now to disguise the sound, as a cough would draw more attention than a fart, difficult times, perhaps they could design some anti trumpet trousers.

It’s such an ugly word “Fart”, but luckily many people have their own euphemisms for it, a lovely old neighbour of mine who hailed from Bolton called it “Dropping your clog”, my personal favourite is “Botty Burp”. Any more?

well off topic I know, after 31 years of marriage I can honestly say I have never heard my wife fart whilst her sister is a champion farter who can fart at will. Loud and proud.

Apparently it's a well known fact from a reliable source, that ladies don't fart,, allegedly they blow fairy kisses which unfortunately smell like gunpowder and lard, at least I own up.

My Old Man exemplified the "Brown Trombone" with his expert control of pitch and timbre, perfected by decades of post-Roast Dinner Grandstand-watching.

If only me Dad's farts were the only thing to worry about now. Good times.

lol 'gunpowder and lard' luv it!

'Puff ' and 'tinkle' .. we were brought up proper.

I love the elegance of ladies when they describe flatulence, such inoffensive words, how do they describe the upper limits of the Beaufort scale I wonder?

Maybe we should get back on track, Casper ?
It comes to something when the only topic that brings forth comments is , flatulence ! Although, it has given some well earned rest to coronavirus.

I can see it now - the next novelty Christmas book, 'Great British Farts' (no, not politicians in this instance!) An exploration of the many dialect and slang terms abounding in our islands for noxious effluvia of the bowels'. Anyone fancy tackling that?!

Right - back on topic! On you go...

Right you are granny enough of the frivolity, let us take a look at the Dominic Cummings saga, Boris so desperate to hang on to his puppet master he is giving him support, without him Boris is laid bare as the egotistical braggart he is, all piss and wind and false promises, he has the gall to describe Cummings as a concerned parent, does Boris know and understand the meaning of this? and would he rush to the aid of his "other" kids? double standards indeed.

Big mistake by Cummings not even apologising or looking slightly sorry. He's not at all likeable, I think he should do the honourable thing and resign. I feel sorry for Boris he doesn't look well and what a burden it is being prime minister at the moment.

With a new baby in the house he's probably a bit short on sleep at the moment! Not to mention any sleeplessness caused by mulling over how he could have handled the whole virus situation better...