If you are not working and are on income support or such like you will be entitled to ' legal help'. You can refuse contact if you are not happy with his behaviour and advise him to seek legal advice. If he wants to take you to court he must first attempt mediation before he will be allowed to make an application to the court and he must first make an attempt to sort things in correspondence. If he does make an application to the court the childs welfare will be put first and if you raise issues of drink/ drugs or violence then the judge will order that the relevant proof ie drug test police logs etc be provided. It can be a long process. Courts tend to be of the view that a child should have a relationsip with both parents unless they are a danger to the child. The court rarely orders no contact at all even if soneone is a danger they could still be given indirect contact ie letters cards presents.
You really need to seek legal advice though as foums only give opinions many of which you mau not want to hear.
Whilst I agree with the above (a sensible and well informed post), this is a "game" that many parents play for years, the mother seeming to believe that for some reason the child "belongs" to her and that any misdemeanors, no matter how minor or for whatever reason, on behalf of the father is an opportunity to use his child as a favourite toy to be taken away as a punishment.
The rules on access/custody are changing, and for good reason, but it's a slow process. You could keep him hopping in and out of court for years, but if he's persistent in the end he WILL see his child, and as the child grows up they will be able to see how much that parent had to fight to see them, and maybe they'll think that the mother didn't see them as a child, but as a stick to beat or reward their father with. I'm not saying that you're doing this, I'm not saying that I agree or disagree with you, what I am saying is that the choices you make now and the way you handle this will effect the relationship between you and you child FOREVER.
Children have a lot of time on their hands to think, and without understanding the complexities of adult relationships, they blame themselves when things go wrong, because every child KNOWS that the world revolves around them.
He arrives late, ignore him, tell him to come back the next day, don't open the door, don't make it into a confrontation. He calls you, if you don't want to speak to him just tell him that your busy and arrange a time for him to call back. He tells you he wants to be with whilst on holiday with his new g/f, well that's just a control issue, trying to keep hold of you in reserve, which is why he calls late a night, to check on you and thwart any new relationship. If you want to get money from him make the application, there are whole agencies out there designed to see where he gets his money from, and if he sees his child he will of course have to feed her, get her some clothes maybe, it's something that has to build up, he's not going to get a roomful of "stuff" for her if he doesn't see her for months on end.
You need to talk to him, with a mediator present (a professional, not someone's sister or best mate) and work out a sensible plan of when he can see his child, because if you don't and this goes all the way to court and he sticks it out to he end, when he does get to see her, and she has a good time, you're the one who'll have to explain to her why you stopped her doing it for so long.
You'll know if this is just a game to him, if he makes appointments and doesn't turn up, but at least you tried, you tried to give them time together, yes your child may be hurt if they let them down, but you can't keep them locked away because you "think" that might happen, you have to wait and see if it does, unfortunately.
Just keep the professionals in the loop, don't see everything as a confrontation and be prepared to be flexible. Anything you work out between yourselves is likely to be much better than something the courts come up with, especially when you start throwing in holidays/birthdays/Christmas/weddings/family events etc.
Good luck
