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Nothing wrong with binge drinking.

Typical :-(

I dont think seeing what your kids write on their wall as a 'friend' is going to help in knowing what they are getting/sending in private messages . The only way to monitor is insisting on knowing their password surely.

Correction, kids shouldn't have Facebook full stop.

Copy and paste from a Facebook group: Names deleted but I think this illustrates the issues that can arise.

**RANT**
I own a 18+ group on Facebook and I'd accidently added two minors whom I come to find out were siblings, their mother joins the page and posts the rudest thing on our page saying we're disgraceful, that we make her sick and that we should have checked the profiles first. I'm sorry but we can't just do that, not all pages actually let us check the DOB nor do myself and the other admin have the time to waste doing that. We try our best to keep minors out and keep the page clean. Urgh I can't be bothered with idiots today!!!!! =.="
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- I think the mum had a point actually. The children are partly to blame for joining, and the mum for not monitoring their viewing, but you also have a responsibility. If you can't see someone's age then don't allow them in.
33 mins · Like · 2

- I take responsibility for my part, by why in gods name would to kids join an 18+ group? Its clearly stated in the title, it jut annoys me that the mum has abused us for it all and made her kids out to seem so innocent.
32 mins · Like · 1

- I have a lot going on right now, it being close to christmas, I've just finished a butt load of appointments and in the new year, I have even more. We're trying our best but it just really pisses me that shes blamed it all on us and make the two minors to seem to innocent and that they didn't know. If they had of seen the title, it says "Are You Looking For Friends ? (18+ Adults Only)"
30 mins · Like

- Not being funny but maybe her kids shouldn't have fb then because these things happen
30 mins · Like · 4

- Yeah these things happen, its not the first time either that kids have joined and we didn't realise. I guess we should probs start going through our members and clearing out whoever looks too young and is possibly under the age of 18..
28 mins · Edited · Like

- If their mum is privy to what groups they are member of then perhaps her time would have been better spent checking up on their social media use rather than ranting at you.
28 mins · Like · 3

- Like I said, we try to keep minors out and keep the group clean. She can't exactly say "well you should have checked their pages first" uh well sorry but sometimes we're busy and we just accept them because we don't really have the time?? You can't expect us to be all over it when we have shit to do!
27 mins · Like

- She's probably (hopefully) had a right go at her kids too lol
26 mins · Like

- Yeah lets hope so, but by what she said in the post she made in our group she blamed it all on us and nothing on her kids.
26 mins · Like

- Apparently her daughter was in the group first and then her son joined "not realising" it said "18+ Adults Only" which is aboslute crock to me.
24 mins · Like

my daughter is having a bit of a "row" with her fiancée because he "liked" a photo of another girl. His defence was he liked the dress she was wearing but my daughter asked "what dress". More flesh than dress. That would not have been a problem in my day--we would just have looked and kept our thoughts in our heads.

The "delete" button is very powerful.

Answer to OP, kids will join when 11-12 norm in secondary school. We took the decision when our kids had 6 months of primary left, we were added as friends and we set security features.

We decided on this option as when our child 1st joined she had a small circle of friends and mainly it was family on there, we could show her how to use it and she was comfortable with it when her friends list jumped about 6-12 months into secondary school.

We had some rules that had to be stuck to.

1. Only accept friends she knows in person (not that **** is a friend of ******)

2. Anyone they dont know who tries to add as a friend we are told, we then refuse request and look at who it is on our account. if it seems somewhat strange we would have reported member, however we never needed this option.

I agree it is not perfect letting them on when to young. However as said earlier they can only see what is online anyway, as for private messages it is no different than a text and I would guess that 90%+ have a mobile by the time they start secondary. The difference is with facebook messages you can see who sent message yet with mobile they can easily get the number of a "friend" and text without you having any idea who it is.

It is a judgement call and requires trust.