To the little gobshite that tried to break into my place on Sunday night:
1. I'm sure your arm will heal soon.
2. And your leg
3. Not sure about your shoulder.
You REALLY picked the wrong house
Don't call again
Tell your friends
I would also like to thank the local plod who after being called to let them know that I'd just battered a burglar found him half an hour later and gave him a warm bed for the night.
Turns out he had a rather large knife stuck inside his trousers as well, he should just count himself the luckiest guy around that I didn't see it