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Originally Posted by rentaclown100
why is it when i sneeze former celebrities come out?


Because you are very very strange and have a giant hooter!!


Sometimes Police Officers give more than just speeding tickets!

It�s hard to be fit as a fiddle when you�re shaped like a cello!
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Giant hooter attacks Woodside Hotel thread!!

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This is getting silly. I'm going to put some more lard on the cat's boil.

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good point


needed to change this for years. so now i have. ha
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The goat's not been well either.

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I'm lost


Sometimes Police Officers give more than just speeding tickets!

It�s hard to be fit as a fiddle when you�re shaped like a cello!
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Monty Python !! Quotes from.

Sterilse the straight jacket !!

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Who is Mrs Murphy?


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Mrs Murphy was a simple working woman who was boiling up a big cauldron of Chowdah to feed her loving hubby when he came home from a hard day at the sewage works. While her back was turned, some nasty bas***d lobbed his overall's into the pot.

Sorry, got to go - the cat's expecting a headache!

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She's the woman who made the chowder. She fainted on the spot, For she found a pair of overalls In the bottom of the pot raftl


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where have I been not to have heard this tale of treachory?

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Mmmm.. and the original thread here was .....? Sorry going very OT.

Seriously.. (ho.bloody ho) Many moons ago I used to work on the lighthouses. On one station was a guy who was from Fazackerley. Just known as Black Jack (rarely washed). He would in the evening, put his feet up on the Aga stove. He would puff away on his pipe (with some evil baccy mixture in it) staring silently at the ceiling for ages. After a while, he would come out with " Mmmmmmmmmm...the thing is .............. who put the overalls in Mrs Murphy's Chowdah ?" This simple, but crazy question was guaranteed to have the 3 (always 3 keepers on the offshore lights) of us convulsed. Black Jack has probably popped his clogs by now as he was quite a bit older than me.

It's a phrase that just stuck with me over the years. I think most of my bent sense of humour was picked up on my years on the lights.

Anyway.... what the hell are you doing in on a Saturday night ??

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It's from a song that the kids used to be taught in school apparently.


Sometimes Police Officers give more than just speeding tickets!

It�s hard to be fit as a fiddle when you�re shaped like a cello!
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Ahhh.. I learn something new every day !

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I am deeply grateful to be conversing with a soul who used to man lighthouses - what an immense thing this is (not the gin talking). Really it is amazing, because they decided that so many lighthouses could be automated. I was down at Trwyn Du (Black Point) on Anglesey a few weeks ago and I was amazed by the thing. It rings a bell every 30 seconds and flashes a light too, because if you try to pass between the mainland and Puffin Island you are shafted!

I'd quite like the job of a lighthouse keeper - no ASBO neighbours for starters!!

You know why they had 3 keepers don't you?
Smalls Lighthouse
"The Smalls is one of the most remote offshore lighthouses in the UK and home to extraordinary stories. The first message in bottle was sent from here and an incident here involving two lighthouse keepers brought about a change in the way lighthouses were run forever.

The couple, Howell and Griffith, were quarrelsome and when Howell unexpectedly died one night, this left Griffith with the worry that he would be blamed for the death. He made a coffin and lashed the body to the outside of the lighthouse but storms picked up and no help was able to come to them for some weeks by which time Griffith had gone mad - making the lighthouse authority decide that there should always be three men stationed on lighthouses from then on in.

The lighthouse is managed by Trinity Lighthouse, and cannot be visited"
Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/coast/programmes/03-bristol-cardigan-bay.shtml

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