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hi all. just need a bit of advice on this. my baby is nearly 14 months old and her father has only really bothered with her when he has felt like it and turned up at mine on a number of occasions late at night when she's in bed so it's not her he's coming to see. I've had enough of him coming and going in her life when it suits and she doesn't even recognise him when he does come since his visits to her are so few and far between. he couldn't even be at her birth! he's now saying he's going to a solicitor for access to her. it's taken 14 months and for me to cut my contact with him for him to say this. he has only ever bought her a couple of outfits and vests for Christmas which he didn't buy until 3 weeks after Christmas and he gave me £20 for her birthday in April but other than that I've had nothing from him. I don't want anything from him now and I don't want him messing her around when he feels like it. can I by law stop him seeing her?

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At the moment you could stop him seeing her & he would have to apply for a court order through the family courts for access to her, which they would mediate for visitation. I think the Government is looking to make changes to give fathers more rights at the moment.

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jen8505 Offline OP
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Thanks. Would he get access to her since he has never bothered with her? There are other circumstances which I'd rather not go into on a public forum but I'd really rather she had nothing to do with him or his family

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jen8505 Offline OP
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I can't afford to go to a solicitor at the moment since I'm not working and having my daughter to bring up alone. I'm scared he's going to try and say I'm a bad mother

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Originally Posted by jen8505
Thanks. Would he get access to her since he has never bothered with her? There are other circumstances which I'd rather not go into on a public forum but I'd really rather she had nothing to do with him or his family

I'm not sure, I know it has to be agreed by both parents. Your best giving Citizens Advice a ring they'll be able to advice you.

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Originally Posted by jen8505
I can't afford to go to a solicitor at the moment since I'm not working and having my daughter to bring up alone. I'm scared he's going to try and say I'm a bad mother

He would be the one to take it to the family courts so he would have to pay.

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jen8505 Offline OP
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Ok thanks. He's on holiday until Saturday so I have until then to figure out what I can do by law. He's saying he's going to come here on Saturday night but I don't want to see him

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If he hasn't been abusive and you agree mutually acceptable times i.e. not late at night then there should be no reason why he can't see his daughter. There are no legal reasons and a father should have as much right to see his child as the mother.

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He's saying he's going to come here on Saturday night but I don't want to see him [/quote]

And there lies the truth!

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jen8505 Offline OP
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It's not the truth at all. Once again Saturday night my baby will be in bed so there's no point in his visit. He has never bothered with his daughter in the past 14 months so why should he now? He has other children who he doesn't bother with either. I should also point out that he's on community service at the moment for breaking someone's jaw, eye socket and cheek bone

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There is no point asking for advice if you don't divulge the whole story because said advice will be meaningless!
Has he been violent or abusive to his/your daughter? If not then there is no reason to think he will be, we don't know the whole story behind his community service! If he agrees to visit during the day then I see no reasion why he can't, I think you would be well within your rights to stop him visiting when the child is in bed!

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Hi Jen, I would'nt take the reply,s as personel, people are just giving there points of view & as you said we don't know or need to know all the details. As I said give CAB a call to put your mind at ease.

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My ex hubby was a bully to me and very violent.
when i left him he took me to the family court and got staying access,so he had the children from 6pm friday to 6pm sunday.
The court welfare officer said he had a right to see his children and as he was not violent towards them he got his access.
I will point out however that after 6 week of him having this access he stopped comming round to get the children and has not seen his kids for 14 years now.his choice.I went back to court after him not comming for 6 years and they took his access away,think they called it abandonment.He has not parental rights at all.

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jen8505 Offline OP
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Apart from throwing my phone across the room and it hitting her when she was tiny he has never really been close enough to do anything to her. His family haven't seen her since august with the exception of me taking her to see her grandparents on Christmas eve

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as far as am aware the law states that every child has a right to see their parents.
You should seek legal advice.
click on link below

http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ho0

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