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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,385
Forum Addict
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OP
Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,385 |
WORRIED that nobody will show up at your funeral? Look no further than Rent A Mourner, an Essex-based company providing sad people for funerals when (as its website delicately puts it) "there may be a low turnout expected". scared you'll die alone? Don't be, Rent A Mourner will see to your funeral guest list Bookings are also on the up because people want something more dramatic than a mousey British send-off. They want sobbing, hair tearing and breast beating, in the way of excitable foreigners. We had professional mourners in Victorian times, known as "mutes". They looked tragic during the service and doubled as waiters for the wake. Dickens despised them and in the funeral in Martin Chuzzlewit he describes: "Two mutes… looking as mournful as could reasonably be expected of men with such a thriving job in hand." Yes, a career in professional mourning could be the answer. Short hours, free booze and all the ham sandwiches you can eat. link
Last edited by eddtheduck; 7th Apr 2013 4:09pm.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 237
Addict
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Addict
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 237 |
Ha ha, this so made me laugh!! My biggest fear is that my church is empty at my funeral, so my daughter said, "don't worry mum we will rent some mourners"". I will pass her the link just in case. 
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446
Wiki Master
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Wiki Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446 |
I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!
Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 230
Addict
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Addict
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 230 |
I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway!
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,631
Forum Master
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Forum Master
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,631 |
I was thinking about not going to mine.....
Now THAT would mess things up a bit.
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446
Wiki Master
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Wiki Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446 |
I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway! Bollox-just leave your recipes x
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446
Wiki Master
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Wiki Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,446 |
Rambo- I designate you Press Officer regardingmy death!!!! I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!
Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,902
Forum Guardian
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Forum Guardian
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,902 |
if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time
ALWAYS REMEMBER BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU:::::::: Have a nice day and an even better one tomorrow
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,925
Forum Addict
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Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,925 |
if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time you clearly have never seen 'final destination'
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