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#346016 - 31st Aug 2009 8:16pm Its a Break were having *****
Broken_Hearted
Unregistered


I'm going through a bad time at the moment.

Ive been with my Girlfriend now for maybe 18 months and we have just called it a day. I'm gutted and i've been a complete mess since last week.

Ive seen her only this weekend to chat about things and see if we can work things out.

We have said that we will try meeting once a week and take it from there, but i'm gutted.

I hope and pray we can get back together again,
do you have any advice on how i could possibly put the magic back in to her life as she says it gone.

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#346017 - 31st Aug 2009 8:20pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Anonymous]
Wheels Offline
Wiki Veteran

Registered: 4th Jan 2005
Posts: 8795
Loc: Tranmere
How old are you mate?

what caused the split?

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#346020 - 31st Aug 2009 8:28pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Wheels]
Broken_Hearted
Unregistered


I'm 30 and she's 23

We kinda just got on each others nerves and didnt really give ourselves a chance.

We have split before but this is really serious
so i think if there is any chance at all then
it has to be space, but i do want her to love me
again the way she used to.

She says she cares for me and loves me but not in that way for now and needs space.

I'm just a horrible place now,
but i have realised what i could have lost.

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#346022 - 31st Aug 2009 8:34pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Anonymous]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 19265
Loc: Here.
Relationship breakups are like bereavments and you will go through four stages- denial/ disbelief, anger, bargaining+ then finally acceptance. Good luck mate you'll get thru it.
_________________________
Mia Mabel

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jer-e-my Cor-byn


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#346026 - 31st Aug 2009 8:54pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Anonymous]
Wheels Offline
Wiki Veteran

Registered: 4th Jan 2005
Posts: 8795
Loc: Tranmere
Bummer mate

Relationships are the best and worst things in the world.

my misses was in a mood with me all day cos I didn't buy her a rabbit! (she's 21 lol)

The best thing to do (although the hardest) is give her space, Even just the odd text or call will put you back to square one (thus needing you to give her even longer time away), Playing it cool an not seeming bothered will get her thinking and she might want you back sooner if she thinks you might loose YOU forever. But as long as your texting calling and seeing here and she knows your upset SHE is winning the game.

Just do what you normally do when shes not around.

I'd love my misses to go away for a bit just so im not nagged and can do what i want when i want... like play Xbox when Corrie is on.

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#346031 - 31st Aug 2009 9:27pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Wheels]
chris_gilly Offline

Forum Addict

Registered: 15th Feb 2009
Posts: 1950
Loc: tranmere
Originally Posted By: Wheels


I'd love my misses to go away for a bit just so im not nagged and can do what i want when i want... like play Xbox when Corrie is on.


Amen withthat

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#346033 - 31st Aug 2009 9:29pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: Wheels]
MGCraig Offline
AlfaHolic
Forum Veteran

Registered: 16th Apr 2006
Posts: 5488
Loc: Spital
How about realising that you dont need a relationship to be happy. Im not personally having a go at you, as I dont fully understand the situation etc, but these days men dont seem to act like men.

Life should be enjoyable and a challenge. Relationships are an added bonus in life, but they shouldnt come number 1. Number 1 is you, and your life. Your interests etc

If you want her back as you say you do, best thing to do is to forget about it, go out and have some fun. Show some drive and ambition in your life. Join the gym? Work towards a Promotion? Get a new Hobby?

When she sees what youve done with your life not being "Tied down", then the ball is in her court. ATM, she has control, and deep down thats unnatural for her. Do whatever you want, what you like. But forget about her for a while. Shell eventually see what shes missing, and you two can work it out. If not, then youll probably have caught the eye of someone else with all your ambition and drive. End of the day though, you'll feel 100x better with yourself happy
_________________________


------------------------------------------------------------

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#346047 - 31st Aug 2009 9:47pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: MGCraig]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 19265
Loc: Here.
Read 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.
_________________________
Mia Mabel

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jer-e-my Cor-byn


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#346048 - 31st Aug 2009 9:47pm Re: Its a Break were having [Re: RUDEBOX]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 19265
Loc: Here.
Read 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.
_________________________
Mia Mabel

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jer-e-my Cor-byn


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#346111 - 1st Sep 2009 1:09am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: MGCraig]
_Ste_ Offline


Wiki Master

Registered: 7th Aug 2005
Posts: 16051
Loc: New Brighton
Originally Posted By: MGCraig
How about realising that you dont need a relationship to be happy. Im not personally having a go at you, as I dont fully understand the situation etc, but these days men dont seem to act like men.

Life should be enjoyable and a challenge. Relationships are an added bonus in life, but they shouldnt come number 1. Number 1 is you, and your life. Your interests etc

If you want her back as you say you do, best thing to do is to forget about it, go out and have some fun. Show some drive and ambition in your life. Join the gym? Work towards a Promotion? Get a new Hobby?

When she sees what youve done with your life not being "Tied down", then the ball is in her court. ATM, she has control, and deep down thats unnatural for her. Do whatever you want, what you like. But forget about her for a while. Shell eventually see what shes missing, and you two can work it out. If not, then youll probably have caught the eye of someone else with all your ambition and drive. End of the day though, you'll feel 100x better with yourself happy


Stay single until your at least 40 wink

Period!
_________________________


http://www.youtube.com/user/stetopop

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#346117 - 1st Sep 2009 2:10am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: _Ste_]
diggingdeeper Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 9th Jul 2008
Posts: 10807
Loc: Birkenhead
Lads should be taken to one side when still at school and then beaten senseless until they sign a contract agreeing never to get married!

Girls - they are so cold hearted, in love one minute, totally forgotten whats-his-name the next.

Boys - eaten up with emotion when things fall apart, sometimes never really get over it even years later, they just end up bitter and twisted like me.
_________________________
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

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#346118 - 1st Sep 2009 5:48am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: diggingdeeper]
_Ste_ Offline


Wiki Master

Registered: 7th Aug 2005
Posts: 16051
Loc: New Brighton
Originally Posted By: diggingdeeper
Lads should be taken to one side when still at school and then beaten senseless until they sign a contract agreeing never to get married!

Girls - they are so cold hearted, in love one minute, totally forgotten whats-his-name the next.

Boys - eaten up with emotion when things fall apart, sometimes never really get over it even years later, they just end up bitter and twisted like me.


Totally agree with you mate smile

1 thing though! Your not bitter nor twisted! Thats a part of what `punishment` lads go through! It doesn`t really exist, not all women are the same though, remember that! wink
_________________________


http://www.youtube.com/user/stetopop

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#346148 - 1st Sep 2009 10:40am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: _Ste_]
MissGuided Offline

Awesome
Wiki Guardian

Registered: 18th Jul 2008
Posts: 9995
Loc: Back of the wardrobe
'deep down thats unnatural for her' WTF Craig? Who died and made you Claire fooking Rayner?

Let's be real about this - maybe there are big reasons she doesn't want to be with you? Maybe things that have been discussed time and again - maybe something she is not happy with you doing or you're not happy for her to do?

Its possible at 23 she isn't ready for the level of commitment you are now expecting at 30. Think back to when you were that age and what your priorities were.

Let's face it - everyone comes to a relationship with a certain amount of baggage, be it from previous relationships or just from generally growing up. There may be deeper reasons she is allergic to commitment - e.g. her parents may have split or she may have not had a relationship she could trust before. That in itself can be scary to deal with.

As already said by others, don't push her, don't hang around like a lost puppy. Get on with life in general, keep yourself busy. If she genuinely needs space and can sort her head out in that time, then she will come around. But my experience of the words 'needs space' usually means that a decision has already been made. She is possibly prolonging your agony but will see it as softening the blow or letting you down gently. People often do this out of a sense of guilt or not wanting to be the one that does the dumping.

That's all I can offer. I hope you find some truth from her - even if its not particularly what you want to hear.
_________________________


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#346157 - 1st Sep 2009 11:50am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: MissGuided]
PaulWirral
Unregistered


She'll soon be back mate as soon as the batteries run out of her vibrator.

I know ya gutted mate but time is a healer and you'll soon be on to the next piece of skirt that comes along. Just enjoy your own company before moving on. As soon as a girl says "I need my own space" then take it that she is just fobbing you off. In fact, put her a spaceship and fire her off to space if she wants it that badly!

This message should not be taken seriously as its meant in fun.

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#346161 - 1st Sep 2009 11:53am Re: Its a Break were having [Re: ]
MissGuided Offline

Awesome
Wiki Guardian

Registered: 18th Jul 2008
Posts: 9995
Loc: Back of the wardrobe
Nice disclaimer Paul wink
_________________________


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