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#1046235 - 19th Oct 2017 6:54pm Smacking Ban *****
diggingdeeper Offline

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Registered: 9th Jul 2008
Posts: 10808
Loc: Birkenhead
It looks like Scotland is going ahead with the smacking ban and of course there is now a call for a UK wide smacking ban.

I completely disagree with this, there are already more than adequate protections for injury to children, removing smacking completely undermines the role of a parent.

Kids have to know there are repercussions if they misbehave, remove the repercussions and you are leaving parents with no tools in their lead role. There are many parents who have only smacked their children once or twice, the child knows its a possibility, its important.

If you really believe it is possible for every parent to tell their child to sit on the naughty step and they will slavishly obey then I'm sure their are many parents who would love your services.

As usual, the career politicians haven't got the spine to disagree with an "ethical" issue and speak what they believe.


Edited by diggingdeeper (19th Oct 2017 6:55pm)
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#1046236 - 19th Oct 2017 8:18pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
venice Offline

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Registered: 21st Jul 2011
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The alternative view ,(which Im not 100% on board with) is as always, that you should be teaching by example , that physical violence isnt a desirable or acceptable method of getting your own way.There are many other ways of getting the message across other than sitting on the naughty step. Plenty of things kids dont want withdrawn from their use as a 'lesson'

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#1046237 - 19th Oct 2017 8:45pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: venice]
diggingdeeper Offline

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Originally Posted By: venice
The alternative view ,(which Im not 100% on board with) is as always, that you should be teaching by example , that physical violence isnt a desirable or acceptable method of getting your own way.There are many other ways of getting the message across other than sitting on the naughty step. Plenty of things kids dont want withdrawn from their use as a 'lesson'


In that case every parent that behaves themselves has a perfect child without even having to ever tell the child have to behave because the child will follow by example...... errrr no!
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When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

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#1046241 - 19th Oct 2017 9:12pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
Excoriator Online   content
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We never smacked out kids (five of them). There was no need. In my opinion, good behaviour as a result of fear is not worth having.

Curiously, they all turned out OK and even as teenagers were pretty reasonable. I think bad teenage behaviour may be the result of throwing off earlier repression but obviously, my sample is far too small to come to any firm conclusion.

I think Scotland is probably doing the right thing. You must remember that most countries indulge the bad behaviour of their kids and see England as a place where kids are treated particularly harshly.

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#1046242 - 19th Oct 2017 9:16pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
assassin Online   content
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I was never smacked if I was bad my mum or dad would shout at me, then when I went to my grandfathers they would tell him what I did and he told me off, I learned right from wrong and turned out alright.

What a kid to learn from being hit? When do you hit them and when do you stop do you smack a Baby of 3 for crying or a 5year old for asking for a toy in a shop, if he then goes on to hit his wife is it not you that made it ok to hit others in the first place?
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#1046243 - 19th Oct 2017 9:19pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: Excoriator]
assassin Online   content
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Originally Posted By: Excoriator
We never smacked out kids (five of them). There was no need. In my opinion, good behaviour as a result of fear is not worth having.

Curiously, they all turned out OK and even as teenagers were pretty reasonable. I think bad teenage behaviour may be the result of throwing off earlier repression but obviously, my sample is far too small to come to any firm conclusion.

I think Scotland is probably doing the right thing. You must remember that most countries indulge the bad behaviour of their kids and see England as a place where kids are treated particularly harshly.
well said that man thumbsup
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#1046244 - 19th Oct 2017 9:43pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
venice Offline

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Registered: 21st Jul 2011
Posts: 3005
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Originally Posted By: diggingdeeper
[quote=venice]The alternative view ,(which Im not 100% on board with) is as always, that you should be teaching by example , that physical violence isnt a desirable or acceptable method of getting your own way.There are many other ways of getting the message across other than sitting on the naughty step. Plenty of things kids dont want withdrawn from their use as a 'lesson'


[color:quote DD #3366FF]In that case every parent that behaves themselves has a perfect child without even having to ever tell the child have to behave because the child will follow by example...... errrr no![/quote[/color]]

That extrapolation isnt right though DD . Its not automatic that a child follows good example without pushing the boundaries. Of course it still behaves badly sometimes - its the way the parent handles the correction ,that is where setting an example is most important.

Sorry - crap grammar there, but you know what I mean.

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#1046248 - 19th Oct 2017 10:46pm Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
diggingdeeper Offline

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Registered: 9th Jul 2008
Posts: 10808
Loc: Birkenhead
Is shouting acceptable and a good example? Is it any better than spanking?

Even "telling someone off" isn't apparently the correct protocol

Its also part of the child's education to recognise that others get frustrated, very few people live in Stepford.
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In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

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#1046264 - 20th Oct 2017 9:22am Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
assassin Online   content
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Registered: 4th Jan 2011
Posts: 276
Loc: On the tip of an iceberg
I think shouting is acceptable in life
If you mess up at work your boss shouts at you to tell you off, he doesn't smack you
Other then boxing, wrestling or MMA

I bet your that bloke in ASDA who sees a mum with a child with adha having a meltdown saying give him a good old slap.

So GBH is ok if done to children?
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#1046269 - 20th Oct 2017 10:24am Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
Gibbo Online   content
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Registered: 27th Dec 2010
Posts: 1835
Loc: Oxton
I was never smacked and I've never smacked my kids. A shout was good enough to scare me.

I think if you're brought up properly with rules and boundaries there shouldn't be any need for smacking.

However, I know a few kids that deserve a good belting because I think its the only way they'll learn!

The thing is, there's no clear evidence that smacking or not turns out a good kid. I'm sure there will be plenty that were smacked as a child and turned out good, as well as those that were smacked and turned out bad.

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#1046275 - 20th Oct 2017 10:49am Re: Smacking Ban [Re: diggingdeeper]
Excoriator Online   content
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Registered: 21st Jan 2010
Posts: 1156
Loc: wirral
Well, our technique was to wait until the tantrum was over and calm had been restored before discussing it. Usually, they were regretful, but where they had a grievance I usually tried to meet them halfway or at least do enough to show them I understood their point.

They have all turned out fine. It's possible they would have even if we'd smacked and shouted at them of course, but I'm glad we didn't.

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