Kevinhit's suggestion of a turd tax , made me think we could all do with a bit more of a laugh regarding council 'charges', so Im starting this short thread for spoof ideas from you Wiki folk , for the Council to consider , on how they can fleece you some more, and tongue in cheek ways how it could be implemented! Come on people , let your imagination go wild!
Surely it has to be the air we breath, same as petrol they charge per litre ?
as a green tax they could have a pay as you fart service to
What about bonking/sex tax?, and if you use a rubber ITS double BUT there could be problems they might charge a time limit?....
Reinstate the window tax!
what about a single person sleeping in a double bed tax
Here's a good one...a bedroom tax! If you have empty bedrooms the government will charge you for them. But if you turn a bedroom into a mosque you don't have to pay! Outrageous i know, it's just a thought i had, it'll never happen!
hOW ABOUT A PAVEMENT TAX TO BE PAID BY ANYONE WALKING DOWN A STREET, WEAR AND TEAR ON PAVEMENTS.
A going out at night tax, to pay the electric bill for lamposts.
how about introducing bo wardens, doleing out on the spot fines, for anyone, causing other members of the public to have to hold their noses, due the smell of their underarms lol
or introducing pyjama police, to stop and fine, any person who thinks shopping or walking the streets in their pj's is ok
Rain tax, for the automatic watering of your garden.
Wind tax, for drying washing on the line...
Quote Dilly "A going out at night tax, to pay the electric bill for lamposts."
To further that one Dilly, a machine on the base of each lamp post that you have to pedal like hell for five minutes , to generate enough leccy to get you from lamp post to lamp post, hence eliminating the need for WBC to light any of them!
SilentReader . 'A fart tax' . Yes I see this helping the above in some way .Maybe some sort of offsettting.
MissMarjong we will enlist Silentreaders ideas plus offsetting here too |I think.
yewgarth ! A bedroom tax? Really, your idea is just too silly. Shame on you!
A manhood tax, oh well I won't be paying much into that !
What about bonking/sex tax?, and if you use a rubber ITS double BUT there could be problems they might charge a time limit?....
Mike Im interested in your ideas to monitor folk for this very profitable tax? tele screens from council to bedroom? Sex only allowed in pay as you use booths in designated places?
A manhood tax, oh well I won't be paying much into that !
That's a very gender specific tax, unless women had to pay for what they have.
How does the multiple occupancy rate work ?
or introducing pyjama police, to stop and fine, any person who thinks shopping or walking the streets in their pj's is ok
I'd vote for that.
A manhood tax, oh well I won't be paying much into that !
That's a very gender specific tax, unless women had to pay for what they have.
How does the multiple occupancy rate work ?
a tax on the size of a womans boobs
oh yes a bra tax, that would leave a few of our larger ladies strapped for cash.
A tax on eating in the street.
oh yes a bra tax, that would leave a few of our larger ladies strapped for cash.
LMAO,love that one mate.
or introducing pyjama police, to stop and fine, any person who thinks shopping or walking the streets in their pj's is ok
I'd vote for that.
I agree to that,cant get my head round to why women wear pjs outside in the street.What about tax on swearing.
How about a using the word 'Wirral" tax, but that would put an end to this forum!
or introducing pyjama police, to stop and fine, any person who thinks shopping or walking the streets in their pj's is ok
I'd vote for that.
I agree to that,cant get my head round to why women wear pjs outside in the street.What about tax on swearing.
f::k that !
oh yes a bra tax, that would leave a few of our larger ladies strapped for cash.
LMAO,love that one mate.
No guitarlad, to avoid the tax, that would leave our larger ladies UNstrapped for cash!
also for our larger ladies,knicker elastic tax. maybe thats stretching it.
A playground tax. They could make all the public park facilities like on the fairground where you stick your kid in and then bung a quid into the cointaker to make it work.
Good God, Dyou know what Wiki people -- this thread should serve to show us how lucky we are , the council hardly taxes us on anything !!!!!
------YET
oh yes a bra tax, that would leave a few of our larger ladies strapped for cash.
LMAO,love that one mate.
No guitarlad, to avoid the tax, that would leave our larger ladies UNstrapped for cash!
Bigger knickers tax haha
[quote=venice]A playground tax. They could make all the public park facilities like on the fairground where you stick your kid in and then bung a quid into the cointaker to make it work.
Good God, Dyou know what Wiki people -- this thread should serve to show us how lucky we are , the council hardly taxes us on anything !!!!!
------YET
[/quote
best hope they are not watching Venice.
oh yes a bra tax, that would leave a few of our larger ladies strapped for cash.
Us larger ladies already pay a LOT of money for BRAS......!£25-£30 THANKS...lol
I have a good one - very relevant at the moment maybe - how about a POLL TAX where every person pays the same towards local services regardless of where they live
I am sure there could be few objections to such a simple system
Snod
What about bonking/sex tax?, and if you use a rubber ITS double BUT there could be problems they might charge a time limit?....
Mike Im interested in your ideas to monitor folk for this very profitable tax? tele screens from council to bedroom? Sex only allowed in pay as you use booths in designated places?
they would only charge us a TV licence tax for the monitors...
I think that a bedroom tax could work well.
I think that a bedroom tax could work well.
I'm wondering what happens to people in bed sits, is it a living room, is it a bedroom, do they pay only the rate for the space their bed takes up, which means its not big enough to be classed as a bedroom at all.
What if they use a sofa bed, is it only a bedroom for the time they're sleeping in it and do they get a rebate for the time the bed is folded away, how will they monitor this to allow for the difference in sleep patterns between normal human beings and university students.
Toll roads around Wirral or 'traffic lights' tax. Every set of traffic lights we go through,.... bingo! Car reg and automatic payment sent through the post at the end of each tax year. They like getting at the motorists, so why stop with the car parks? Plus there's enough traffic/pedestrian lights to raise millions.
I still think a pavement tax would raise loadsamoney.
Anyone who puts Christmas lights up.
I can actually see that happening one day,in the not too distant future but, probably as a fine.
Tax for those leaving their gardens unsightly with long grass and unkempt bushes. Then they could ensnare you into paying either this or the garden bin tax! Kind council giving choices!!
Well in the center of Town you could just tax fat, drunk or smacked up people
but then again where would the money come from - us taxpayers again!
wont be long before we all have to "pay as you speak"!!
What about a picture hanging TAX? in homes so much for pictures in the living room, so much for pictures in the hall etc etc....
What about an umbrella tax ? that would cover it all
Anyone who puts Christmas lights up.
I can actually see that happening one day,in the not too distant future but, probably as a fine.
Maybe a tax for putting them up to early eg NOV grrrrrr
How about a massive parking tax that you have to pay just to go shopping, visit the ATM, etc?
Surely this would entice thousands more people to support their local community by shopping locally?
How about a speech tax, charged per word spoken. Obviously they would need to fit microphones into every home and street on the wirral, which could be covered by an intelligence tax. They could charge extra for anything they don't like you saying. However if you mime the words you get a 50% discount as no sound is actually made, but if you want to opt into this service you would need cameras fitted as well as the microphones, which would increase your intelligence tax payments.
Could all be taxed on how many times you pick your noses lol.
how about a tax tax, they could charge us tax on tax.
How about a 'spitting' tax, gross habit of many.....
Sorry this one is sexist. I`d have a tax on women who sit at the traffic lights in their car, flicking their hair with their left hand. Buy some Head And Shoulders, not flick dandruff!
Sorry this one is sexist. I`d have a tax on women who sit at the traffic lights in their car, flicking their hair with their left hand. Buy some Head And Shoulders, not flick dandruff!
Sociological studies have shown that women flipping their hair and/or twisting it in their fingers is form of flirting as they show attraction.
If this happens to you at traffic lights a lot maybe they're trying to tell you something.
Yes Dr , I thought so, till I realised they where looking at themselves in the mirror :-(
Sorry this one is sexist. I`d have a tax on women who sit at the traffic lights in their car, flicking their hair with their left hand. Buy some Head And Shoulders, not flick dandruff!
Sociological studies have shown that women flipping their hair and/or twisting it in their fingers is form of flirting as they show attraction.
If this happens to you at traffic lights a lot maybe they're trying to tell you something.
you are only jealous guess you are bald then.
my hair is getting cut this evening, well long, and no, I don't do comb overs lol. I used to be a "Greaser" Long hair, leather jacket, girl on each arm.. vivid imagination..
lucky if your born on a leap year :-)
Too many kids sharing a bedroom tax
-Very many thanks Wiki folk for the great imput . All brilliant ideas! Hope they have cheered everyone up as much as they have me .
Ah, I suppose I should declare here that I work for WBC's elite T.H.I.E.F. committee.(Top Horrible Ideas for Easy Fleecing)
We are so impressed by the quality of suggestions, that ALL are to be put into practice on April 1st 2014
Love
Venice x
fook all would suprise us!
Nice one Venice we have all enjoyed it, but I don't think it's finished yet.
There should definitely be a tax on supermarket dawdlers... You know, those annoying people who insist on stopping dead in the middle of a supermarket aisle with their trolley positioned diagonally so no one else can get past them, and decide now would be a good time to discuss, with some friend they've just bumped into, the holiday they've just been on/are going on
Perhaps they could call it the "spread room tax"