At what age would you let your children on Facebook?

Never !

If you ever want them to have a normal level of intelligence ,sense , attention span and confidence .... NEVER !!! EVER !!!

3 months

It's never too early to warn your children of the dangers of binge drinking, drugs and facebook !

facebook is only as bad as the people they have on their timeline.

if you fill your timeline full of racists, bigots and idiots then it can only go one way, if you have just close friends and keep it private and just to keep in touch with people then it's a good thing to have.

why everyone above is slating facebook is beyond me, it's actually a good thing and has done some very good things for the world. Technophobes...

Glad it wasnt around when mine were young . Must be a nightmare trying to police it once they get to that stroppy secretive stage/age.

Kids being bullied into suicide ? People talking crap ! Please tell me the good things it has done for the world, I am always willing to listen.Oh and we are not technophobes because we don't do facebook.

I actually quite like FB myself, mainly because Im interested --ok nosy -- about what other people are getting up to, but its a right time waster . I do think its risky for young people though. .

I think j_demo missed the point, it is about children using it. We her so much about them being bullied and also being groomed by adults posing as children. It is not a safe place for kids.

The reason I ask my son is 10 and he is wanting to sign up, I am not on Facebook but my wife and his older brother are, A number of his school friend have signed up so his is pestering us, I don't see it as a problem as my wife would be able to monitor what he is up too.

From Facebook UK's page
"To be eligible to sign up for Facebook, you must be at least 13 years old"

In other countries is may vary, I personally was concerned when my daughter-in-law allowed my grandaughter ( then 10) to join, as she then became aware her granddad was not as sweet as I purported to be !!
The internet and social sites can be a fantastic place of learning, but with children, it can also be a very dangerous place unfortunately

If I had my choice, the age limit would be 18yrs. Don't like what it can encourage in young lives and if children were not allowed on facebook, there may be a lot less perverts being able to groom kids.
It can be an evil tool, even if it can also be informative, although generally speaking, the same information can be found on other internet sites.
The children see their school friends all day, surely that is enough. Outside interests would be far more beneficial at such young ages and maybe expand their friends and experiences beyond the school playground.
I hope my grand children are not allowed to use it.

I joined so I could keep tabs on my daughter, she was 15- 16 at the time.

1. you say kids are being bullied into suicide, once again i come back to my point of the people you actually allow and are 'friends' with on there, only they are the ones you see on your timeline and if you have the necessary security settings then nobody other than friends can message you or post on your timeline.
2. "people talking crap" is a very subjective term, what is "crap" to you may not be to someone else, it all depends on which circles you run in.
3. good things it has done? it has let me keep in touch with friends and family all over the world (Canada, USA, New Zealand, Dubai, Japan) on a regular basis, we can see where each other has been via pictures, share stories, talk more often than we normally would and remain friends despite there being a vast world between us. It has re-united people with old friends, it has re-united people with lost belongings (jewellery etc), you can also meet new people and learn about other cultures because of it. Need i go on?


it's not a safe place if you let it become an unsafe place, i'm not saying watch every click and every keystroke they make, but once in a while, maybe when they're not looking, have a quick browse round, see what's on their timeline and discuss with them options if you don't like something. Punitive approaches won't work, colalborative and open discussions and education is the way forward.

i speak both from experience and where i work (CAMHS) we do a LOT of social media education for 0-16's and their parents and if you want i will happily come to your house and explain why facebook is not the devil.

facebook is just a 'thing' that you can utilise however you want, if you let it get out of hand and allow the wrong people in, then, much like in reality, you have nobody to blame but yourself for how it ends up. Use it properly and only allow people you know/like to message you etc then it's happy days.

of course kids being kids will accept everyone and hormones and stuff people will have arguments and i don't watch "jeremy kyle" with being in work all day but i can imagine 60%+ of the cases mention some form of social media being a catalyst... again, it doesn't make facebook the baddy, it just means that it was used inappropriately.

Do you allow your children to use it j_Demo, and how old are they ?

I don't have any children, i'm 25, and i have used it ever since i was about 16 (it was only founded in '04 when i was 15) and i've NEVER encountered any problems, nor has anyone i know.

jdemo, thank you for your in depth analysis of facebook however nothing you have said detracts from the fact that it is a dangerous place for kids. thanks for your kind offer to come to my house but really think that would not be a good idea. Have a nice evening. Ps Why did poor old Jeremy get dragged into this ?

your opinion is very much that, there is no categoric evidence that facebook is dangerous to/for kids and saying so means that sites like youtube and wikiwirral where people are free to post comments are equally as dangerous and harming and i'd bet you wouldn't think twice about letting your child watch videos on youtube or sign up to wikiwirral would you?

i'm going to take the ever-popular Justin Bieber as one prime example. I have just searched youtube for "Justin Bieber" which is what any prepubescent girl would do if given the option, and the following video's are on page 1 of the searches:
this is an official music video of his featuring half naked girls and alcohol
this video of his "worst moments"

i daren't even google search his name for what might come up (obviously the promoted stuff is top but what's after that is scary)

i think you should replace "facebook" with "the internet" because if you're that concerned about facebook then you'll be mortified about what else is on the internet outside of facebook, so take the computer/tablet/phone off your precious little child and let them go and play with a ball and a cup in the corner. the internet is a beautiful, tragic mess, it's amazing and dangerous, you have no choice but to take one without the other, there's absolutely no way you can filter all the good from all the bad, facebook is just one small cog in a massive machine. take it or leave it.

in relation to the very first post (as i'm aware we HAVE got a bit off topic) i would say let your child use facebook, but only when you feel that they're competent and educated enough to do so. there's no right or wrong answer re age.

My grandson has been on since he was about 12 but only on condition that his mum is also on his friends list so can see most of what is going on. It's a way of life for kids these days. If not Face Book there are all sorts of chat apps they use. You can't watch them 24 hours a day or monitor every single thing they do, the best you can do is teach them how to use these things safely, monitor them in the back ground without interfering as much as possible and above all chatting (not just talking) to your kids so they share things naturally.

Having a daughter in teaching, I can assure you that a couple of years ago, three school children in the Merseyside area committed suicide due to bullying by their so called school friends, on facebook. One child is too many and no child fits into a text book category. They are all different and all challenging, and until you have the wonderful experience of becoming a parent, you may not fully appreciate the worries and traumas that parents actually have to deal with, on a daily basis. Three children using facebook at the same time, could be a much harder practice to monitor. Monitoring three separate children every night on facebook, I should imagine is not likely to happen in the majority of cases. Therefore, my personal opinion is still much the same. If the age limit is 13yrs, and if children are able to join earlier, then the parents are not being responsible anyway and neither are those who purport it to be acceptable.

yes parents should be responsible for their kids & not let them roam the internet/facebook and then blame facebook, it's tantamount to letting a child play with a lion then blaming the lion for eating the child.

Also your point re bullying on facebook: the bullying probably almost certainly was happening outside of facebook it just wasn't dealt with appropriately by school/parents/police that it spilled over to facebook and got out of hand. Once again, if parents monitored facebook of either the perpetrators or victims then it could have been stopped. Mark Zuckerberg cannot take responsibility for that, parents/teachers/police should.

Come back to us when you have had a child j-demo.

Right to a point, but you should know that if bullying takes place in the school playground, the child being bullied is not likely to report it to anyone, for fear of being bullied more. They try to accommodate the perpetrators in an effort to feel as one of the crowd,....until it's gone too far.
Teacher's police and parents are not always knowledgeable about these things that go on. Oh ! and it was predominately happening on facebook, from behind the keyboard.

I would hate to be a teenager in this day and age.

cop out phrase that.

Just becauae i'm not a parent doesnt mean i have no idea what i'm talking about.

I don't think Rude was implying that you don't know what you are talking about, but maybe you don't fully understand the worries of being a parent.

Google "Facebook bullying" and you'll see the evidence.

think about this
you let your kid go on facebook so he adds his family and friends from school mates

so he posts something on his wall who will see it? there's his family and everyone on their list his school mates and people on their list YES YOU CAN STOP PEOPLE SEE WHAT YOU POST but what kid do you know that doesn't went to brag to mate lol one day he post a pic with his family on a day out ( I know who cares) but kids in school see it and start joking about it, then one of them thinks I'll troll him about it.

ps this is a what if just to make you think

Nothing wrong with binge drinking.

Typical :-(

I dont think seeing what your kids write on their wall as a 'friend' is going to help in knowing what they are getting/sending in private messages . The only way to monitor is insisting on knowing their password surely.

Correction, kids shouldn't have Facebook full stop.

Copy and paste from a Facebook group: Names deleted but I think this illustrates the issues that can arise.

**RANT**
I own a 18+ group on Facebook and I'd accidently added two minors whom I come to find out were siblings, their mother joins the page and posts the rudest thing on our page saying we're disgraceful, that we make her sick and that we should have checked the profiles first. I'm sorry but we can't just do that, not all pages actually let us check the DOB nor do myself and the other admin have the time to waste doing that. We try our best to keep minors out and keep the page clean. Urgh I can't be bothered with idiots today!!!!! =.="
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- I think the mum had a point actually. The children are partly to blame for joining, and the mum for not monitoring their viewing, but you also have a responsibility. If you can't see someone's age then don't allow them in.
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- I take responsibility for my part, by why in gods name would to kids join an 18+ group? Its clearly stated in the title, it jut annoys me that the mum has abused us for it all and made her kids out to seem so innocent.
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- I have a lot going on right now, it being close to christmas, I've just finished a butt load of appointments and in the new year, I have even more. We're trying our best but it just really pisses me that shes blamed it all on us and make the two minors to seem to innocent and that they didn't know. If they had of seen the title, it says "Are You Looking For Friends ? (18+ Adults Only)"
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- Not being funny but maybe her kids shouldn't have fb then because these things happen
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- Yeah these things happen, its not the first time either that kids have joined and we didn't realise. I guess we should probs start going through our members and clearing out whoever looks too young and is possibly under the age of 18..
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- If their mum is privy to what groups they are member of then perhaps her time would have been better spent checking up on their social media use rather than ranting at you.
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- Like I said, we try to keep minors out and keep the group clean. She can't exactly say "well you should have checked their pages first" uh well sorry but sometimes we're busy and we just accept them because we don't really have the time?? You can't expect us to be all over it when we have shit to do!
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- She's probably (hopefully) had a right go at her kids too lol
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- Yeah lets hope so, but by what she said in the post she made in our group she blamed it all on us and nothing on her kids.
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- Apparently her daughter was in the group first and then her son joined "not realising" it said "18+ Adults Only" which is aboslute crock to me.
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my daughter is having a bit of a "row" with her fiancée because he "liked" a photo of another girl. His defence was he liked the dress she was wearing but my daughter asked "what dress". More flesh than dress. That would not have been a problem in my day--we would just have looked and kept our thoughts in our heads.

The "delete" button is very powerful.

Answer to OP, kids will join when 11-12 norm in secondary school. We took the decision when our kids had 6 months of primary left, we were added as friends and we set security features.

We decided on this option as when our child 1st joined she had a small circle of friends and mainly it was family on there, we could show her how to use it and she was comfortable with it when her friends list jumped about 6-12 months into secondary school.

We had some rules that had to be stuck to.

1. Only accept friends she knows in person (not that **** is a friend of ******)

2. Anyone they dont know who tries to add as a friend we are told, we then refuse request and look at who it is on our account. if it seems somewhat strange we would have reported member, however we never needed this option.

I agree it is not perfect letting them on when to young. However as said earlier they can only see what is online anyway, as for private messages it is no different than a text and I would guess that 90%+ have a mobile by the time they start secondary. The difference is with facebook messages you can see who sent message yet with mobile they can easily get the number of a "friend" and text without you having any idea who it is.

It is a judgement call and requires trust.