My 18 year old daughter went through a really rough time a few years ago. Totally rebelled against everything and everyone including me. She left school, left home and moved in to assisted housing. It truly was a horrible time.

Thankfully in the last 18 months or so she has totally changed her whole outlook on life. She has attended college and got herself some qualifications. The college have been that impressed with her they have asked if she will stay on and mentor some of the other teenagers. She also did a work placement and had been offered a job ! I really can't tell you how proud I am of her for turning her life around so well.

But....

Because she is now earning a small wage she will loose all of her benefits and the right to stay in her flat. The council will offer her no help with finding somewhere else to live or with any of her rental costs. Because of this she has been advised by her college NOT to take the job !

I simply cannot find this acceptable.
How can it be possible that we are teaching our children not to work. We should be commending her for wanting to better herself. She wants and needs to go out and earn her living. This chance of work has given her a totally new outlook on life and she no longer wants to be like some of her friends who will happily spend most of their lives in the system.

Yet I am now supposed to tell her she can't.

Unbelievable

TheMrs

Seems insanely stupid to openly encourage idleness. Have you checked the possible benefits out yourself? This link would appear to indicate there may be some help available. Of course she would be better working if only for her own self esteem. I really hope she succeeds.


http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales...s_and_tax_credits_for_people_in_work.htm

Well done to her, I wish her all the best. The system stinks.

Sympathise totally, but do check out the benefits your self don't just take one point of view.

I think she will have to skip this job this time, but now being more informed she can be more prepared for next time.

This happens more than you may think.

The point of working is to build up a life.Thousands of people in this area are working at less than the benefit level in the knowledge that they are improving their prospects for the future.
I know of many young people working and paying tax who would love to have their own flat but simply cannot afford it.
The advice given by the college is very immature and not considering the very near future when the government will be stopping housing benefit for young people.

On the face of it , if that is indeed the position after ensuring nothing is being overlooked , it does seem crazy ---a very good eg of how the rules put out the wrong message and I would have thought that perhaps a local opposition councillor or MP might be willing to help?
Well done to your daughter. A full turn around is brilliant

It is difficult and shows how over generous is our benefit system when it pays people not to work.
However, although the benefits of work are not immediately clear, think of the future. Building up a pension, gaining experience which will be invaluable for changing for a better and more lucrative job, self esteem.
Once she has a job and gains experience, she will be able to apply for better jobs as they become available - and they will given time as we seem to have a generation of 'under trained' and 'under educated' youths, so work experience is invaluable. All the time the pension pot is gaining momentum for the future.
Don't just think of the money although it is very important, think of the promotions to come or dependent upon the type of job taken, the overtime hours available. Most of all the experience will most certainly lead to better jobs as long as the education and experience gained is pertinent and the self esteem cannot be underestimated.
If she chooses the work route I wish her all the success in the world and bear in mind, as we cannot afford our present benefit system for whatever reason, it will over the years become less generous whoever is in office.

Well done indeed to your daughter, she needs to be warmly congratulated on this.
It would be well worth speaking to Citizens Advice Bureau to get up to date information about rights and benefits.
I really hope she can find a way to take this job and continue with at least some other financial support.

Can she not come back home for a while whilst she keeps her feet on the first rungs of the ladder to hopefully a successful working life? It would be a crying shame otherwise. She's only young and has her whole life ahead of her. Maybe she has a grandparent who could accommodate her. I know what you are going through. We had the same problems with one of our daughters many years ago. But she sorted her head out and now has a very successful nursing career.
Good luck to her whatever she does.

I thought that before , daugther going back home , two of mine did for a while, while finding there feet ,i know it can be hard but she is moving in the right direction.....good luck

It is the cost of the Assisted Housing Rent that is the problem.

Best of luck to your daughter. I, too know of youngsters who have been in Assisted Housing and advised not to seek work whilst living there.

Time for Mum to step up and offer some support?

The system sucks completely, she has my sympathies.

It really is no wonder that those without morals or self respect (i.e. those that don't feel they have an obligation to work) are quite happy sponging when it's too much like hard work and requires too much of a sacrifice to better themselves.

It'll be hard for her in the short term but in the long term she'll be a much better person for it and can hold her head up high.

If you have a well paid job then it might be worth subsidising her for a short while until she's back on her feet and secure in her new job.

Sadly it looks like it'll be the housing costs that determine whether she'll be keeping that job.

as it has been said we are working to live in poverty BUT the mp,s are giving them selves a massive pay rise ffs

Thanks for all the replies and advice.

I have looked in to her getting some financial help but it seems that because she is 18..working...has no kids...and is fit and healthy...she gets nowt.


So I will have to pay admin fees a deposit and one months rent in advance to a private landlord and probably have to help towards her rent each month just so my daughter can work.

It really is all wrong

TheMrs

Have you looked at private shared accommodation, I work away from home and this provided me with a cheaper alternative to renting. Instead of renting a full house/flat you rent a room and share the kitchen/bathroom, when looking I found some people just want to rent out a spare room they have.

Roombuddies/spareroom/flatmaterooms to name a few, in some places it was half the price of renting a house.

yer but you should have the option of complete privacy I my self couldn't share a house with some one unless it was with my partner

Just because you don't know a person doesn't mean that one doesn't respect the privacy of the other.
Shared renting is a great way of finding your feet. It teaches respect for others whilst hopefully giving each other morale support along the way.
Years ago a young person couldn't afford to have their own home at a very young age so it was expected that their first taste of living alone was in fact sharing with others of a similar age.

It does seem wrong, but you will, like most other parents, be bailing out your kids forever. They are yours and your responsibility. The beauty of a job though is as I mentioned earlier, you do progress and eventually earn enough to stand on your own two feet. It is well worth the effort for the self esteem as well. Good luck and well done for supporting your kids. I now not only have to bail out one of my kids who is 50 but also her son, my grandson to the tune of over £5,000.00 already. If we have kids I am afraid in this day and age we have to stand up to our responsibilities and support them for as long as necessary.

Got 3 children- all still have to be at home. One ill and benefit system helps him thankfully. One who will not play the fictitious job seeking game to get JSA so he is getting no benefit but does unpaid voluntary work till he can find a job (has a degree as well). Third is doing a 32 hr/week apprenticeship only getting £3 hr (would have been £2.70/hour but the boss was "generous" in giving her another 30p/hour then made her pay for her own CRB check £50). This goes against Government guidelines which says how much they say people need to survive on. It doesnt always pay to work AND stand on your own feet but it does pay to work in regards to self asteem and your cv. The real problem is the difference between wages and cost of living. Shes got to give it a go just to make a start as moving to a better paid job will be easier from a position of employment than not. If moving back home is the only option is that a small sacrifice to make for say a year?

Yes I do think it is a small sacrifice to pay for the future. Looking at apprenticeships, what apprenticeship is involved here? It is a proper one like engineering apprenticeships? The title apprentice was only allied to trades at one time and of course although money was lousy, we eventually became qualified engineers (futher education was still required in order to advance)and naturally suddenly received a massive boost to our wages. If this is one of the new types where perhaps yo do 12 months in an office to train as a computer operator or something then perhaps that is why money is even worse. However if the government minimums apply, then I would be tempted to report the employer for exploitation.
Things are obviously a lot harder if one fails to get good grades on leaving school.
I suppose the main problem of minimum wages has now arisen, a daft idea by Labour, because employers seem to make the minimum wage 'the norm'. At one time they used to offer competitive rates to capture the best. Now, if all employers are doing it, everybody ends up on minimum wage! The only way to differentiate therefore is later when applications are made for better jobs. If the person wanting to leave is good then the boss will offer incentives to stay, if he/she is daft enough not to, then the future employer and employee both get improvement in wages, working conditions and quality of esteem.

Historically, money was not just poor for apprentices, in some trades the apprentice had to pay to be taken on by a master.

Exactly. Minimum wage has been the problem for many as so many companies took advantage.
Like Fish, we all have different situations arising from our families and the bailout process continues for a long time. The institutions regonsize this fact and know the parents will constantly dip into any savings etc. they may be able to access , if it provides support for their children, and we do time and time again. It is unfair. I have two back home again now and many of their friends have also had to move back home, all in their 30's, butthey have to have a roof over their heads. The third one has left the country as she is fed up with not being able to afford to live here, even sharing a house.
Please look for the benefits your daughter will gain from her progress. I think she's done really well , and hope she continues to do so, but she will no doubt, need you more than you think.
Best of luck to her.

To be fair, you have the scummy scrougers to thank for there not being enough money to go around to those in genuine need!

Worth a watch although some might not agree -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6_zqEixjmI

[youtube]r6_zqEixjmI[/youtube]

Ordinary people need a decent welfare state... Agreed. It would work so much better if the work shy mentioned in the first 30 seconds didn't think the world owed them a living.

Good vid thanks for sharing