I'm going through a bad time at the moment.

Ive been with my Girlfriend now for maybe 18 months and we have just called it a day. I'm gutted and i've been a complete mess since last week.

Ive seen her only this weekend to chat about things and see if we can work things out.

We have said that we will try meeting once a week and take it from there, but i'm gutted.

I hope and pray we can get back together again,
do you have any advice on how i could possibly put the magic back in to her life as she says it gone.

How old are you mate?

what caused the split?

I'm 30 and she's 23

We kinda just got on each others nerves and didnt really give ourselves a chance.

We have split before but this is really serious
so i think if there is any chance at all then
it has to be space, but i do want her to love me
again the way she used to.

She says she cares for me and loves me but not in that way for now and needs space.

I'm just a horrible place now,
but i have realised what i could have lost.

Relationship breakups are like bereavments and you will go through four stages- denial/ disbelief, anger, bargaining+ then finally acceptance. Good luck mate you'll get thru it.

Bummer mate

Relationships are the best and worst things in the world.

my misses was in a mood with me all day cos I didn't buy her a rabbit! (she's 21 lol)

The best thing to do (although the hardest) is give her space, Even just the odd text or call will put you back to square one (thus needing you to give her even longer time away), Playing it cool an not seeming bothered will get her thinking and she might want you back sooner if she thinks you might loose YOU forever. But as long as your texting calling and seeing here and she knows your upset SHE is winning the game.

Just do what you normally do when shes not around.

I'd love my misses to go away for a bit just so im not nagged and can do what i want when i want... like play Xbox when Corrie is on.

Amen

How about realising that you dont need a relationship to be happy. Im not personally having a go at you, as I dont fully understand the situation etc, but these days men dont seem to act like men.

Life should be enjoyable and a challenge. Relationships are an added bonus in life, but they shouldnt come number 1. Number 1 is you, and your life. Your interests etc

If you want her back as you say you do, best thing to do is to forget about it, go out and have some fun. Show some drive and ambition in your life. Join the gym? Work towards a Promotion? Get a new Hobby?

When she sees what youve done with your life not being "Tied down", then the ball is in her court. ATM, she has control, and deep down thats unnatural for her. Do whatever you want, what you like. But forget about her for a while. Shell eventually see what shes missing, and you two can work it out. If not, then youll probably have caught the eye of someone else with all your ambition and drive. End of the day though, you'll feel 100x better with yourself

Read 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.

Read 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.

Stay single until your at least 40

Period!

Lads should be taken to one side when still at school and then beaten senseless until they sign a contract agreeing never to get married!

Girls - they are so cold hearted, in love one minute, totally forgotten whats-his-name the next.

Boys - eaten up with emotion when things fall apart, sometimes never really get over it even years later, they just end up bitter and twisted like me.

Totally agree with you mate

1 thing though! Your not bitter nor twisted! Thats a part of what `punishment` lads go through! It doesn`t really exist, not all women are the same though, remember that!

'deep down thats unnatural for her' WTF Craig? Who died and made you Claire fooking Rayner?

Let's be real about this - maybe there are big reasons she doesn't want to be with you? Maybe things that have been discussed time and again - maybe something she is not happy with you doing or you're not happy for her to do?

Its possible at 23 she isn't ready for the level of commitment you are now expecting at 30. Think back to when you were that age and what your priorities were.

Let's face it - everyone comes to a relationship with a certain amount of baggage, be it from previous relationships or just from generally growing up. There may be deeper reasons she is allergic to commitment - e.g. her parents may have split or she may have not had a relationship she could trust before. That in itself can be scary to deal with.

As already said by others, don't push her, don't hang around like a lost puppy. Get on with life in general, keep yourself busy. If she genuinely needs space and can sort her head out in that time, then she will come around. But my experience of the words 'needs space' usually means that a decision has already been made. She is possibly prolonging your agony but will see it as softening the blow or letting you down gently. People often do this out of a sense of guilt or not wanting to be the one that does the dumping.

That's all I can offer. I hope you find some truth from her - even if its not particularly what you want to hear.

She'll soon be back mate as soon as the batteries run out of her vibrator.

I know ya gutted mate but time is a healer and you'll soon be on to the next piece of skirt that comes along. Just enjoy your own company before moving on. As soon as a girl says "I need my own space" then take it that she is just fobbing you off. In fact, put her a spaceship and fire her off to space if she wants it that badly!

This message should not be taken seriously as its meant in fun.

Nice disclaimer Paul

Cheers! Too cowardly to stand by ones words!!

Is that Bert above, as in me Bert.

Get her a ticket on one of these if its "space" she wants....



...problem solved

We're trying to help the lad, not find excuses.
Yeah fine we're human and have emotions/feelings etc. But deep down, we're still animals, and no matter how much of this equal feminism stuff takes a hold (which Im all for btw) deep down in our animalistic instincts, the male should still be the powerful one who makes the decisions.

This isnt my personal view, its nature. But Ive approcahed this situation with nature in mind, not all this emotions, and feelings bullcrap

Craig - its not nature, its your personal view. Maybe that's were you're going wrong (or right)

Clearly Im going right, as I dont have to deal with all this soppy Heartbreak nonsense

*bites lip so as not to go further off topic

Beware girls - don't wear your hair in a ponytail near Craig - he might smack you over the head with his club and drag you into his cave by the hair...

Clubs are soooooo prehistoric, and went out with fur coats - Rohypnol is the weapon of choice these days

No thanks... dont like the Chelsea Face Lift
Does this smell like Chloroform to you?


But yeah, keep yourself busy etc etc... basically whats been said above

*thud*
Yes it was chloroform

You get good times, you get bad times. Me and the missus were happy when we first got married but I must have said something on the way to the reception.
43 years on and we're still here together so think you just have to find common ground sometimes when there is a disagreement and then come to a compromise. If you can't do that then there is nowt down for you. Fact.

I take note there is no response from a woman.You will end up kidding yourself you are getting harder and stronger,after each let down in truth you will be putting less and less of yourself into your relationship. It will become shallow and empty,She will say "why can"t you behave like you used too",and you won"t give a sh££e.Enjoy the momment and move on to the rest of your life.
I"ve had more let downs than a for hire bouncy castle
Good Luck!

Now, let me see....

1) Do you have problems "getting it up"?

2) Premature ejaculation problems?

3) A small penis?

4) No money?

Any of the above would spark this natural response from her.

Its time to move on - get drunk and go to the birkenhead meat markets on Saturday night - if you fail to pull, porn will suffice

I responded! Last time I looked between my legs I definitely had lady bits

Deidre's right - buy yourself a nice new shirt from TopMan, a packet of 3, and go down the town to find yourself a nice pleasant local girl (matted dyed black hair, orange fake tan, netty skirt, tit top, Paris Hilton perfume, mouth like the Mersey tunnel).

Not just the mouth usually

Its a shame no one seems to be taking this cry for help seriously, I've been trying to think what advice Marjorie Proops, that well know agony aunt of yesteryear would have said. She probably would have said, have your six month break from each other but every day send her a single red rose and a large box of chocolates, then after six months you won't be able to stomach the 30 stone, big fat cow, problem solved.

I have a feeling that if it were a girl who had posted the original question, saying that her and her boyfriend had split, it would have had a different response (along the lines of why can't she just take the hint, bunny boiler etc).

Personally, I can't stand wet men! It's not very often it happens but I agree with Craig. All this PC equality crap gets on my nerves - I want my man to be a man, not some wet lettuce with balls that small I could use them as earrings!

Best thing you can do is get a grip and move on. If she wanted you as much as you appear to want her, she'd never have wanted space in the first place. We all change, maybe she just wants her freedom. Make the most of it!!

well were do i start lol

Anon not been back?! Maybe they reconciled and our 'counselling' no longer required.
Anon-pm me, if you want. Me a qualified counsellor.

soz. Broken-hearted, i mean. I remembered from the first page you were unregistered and so assumed you were anon.

While summer is still out there use it to the full. Leave the car at home (if there is one) and invite her to dissapear for the day on the train. There are so many lovely places on the Wirral and North Wales. Plan it first,for the next weekend somewhere you havent seen for a few years and somewhere you can talk and bond the cracks. Possibly a day out once a month where it is just you, her and nature. Dont forget a camera to reflect on the new start.

You're a year to late, probably sorted one way or another by now.

I agree, but welcome to the machine anyway MarkB.

I know this is too late, but if one of you has decided to split, it's usually permanent, and the whole 'might get back together again' is just a ploy to make it less painful for you - or easier for her.

Yeah shes probably caught gonneria and probably on drugs dwindling her dole money on scratchcards, crack and kestrol super

It would be interesting to know what actually did happen, although the general consensus was that the outlook wasn't good for the relationship.

Personally, I think if a man says he wants more 'space', he means just that (and it doesn't really indicate how he feels about the relationship) whereas if a woman wants space, that's a bad sign in my (very limited) experience.

Lets have more opinions from the women!

She probably found herself a real man

You my dear are harsh!

But I love ya!

At least people know where they stand with me There's no doubting he's wetter than an easter bank holiday weekend in the lakes though is there. Balls like raisins!!

Love you too

lol bless you two!!

<3

Bottom of the council provided gravel pits.

Me neither but thought I was being a bit thick so kept quiet in case anybody noticed.

Probably married A. Nother by now Summer?!

This post (subject matter) was posted 31st august 2009, ffs. By an anon. Whys this been brought up again? Jeeze!

Theres NOTHING left to say. We dont know who the original poster is? He aint brought us up to date. So....why regurgitate it???

Maybe as an example of however important something seemed at the time, and however much you felt like your life was over just a short time later, and everyone has moved on.

Exactley!!! Wheres the update? "anon" has moved on. So wtf are some picking over the bones off a dead relationship? Not nice, but totally irrelevant too!!

Yer i do all that!! 22 years on. :)D in a relationship, i mean.

Use your heart to touch her.
Sooner or later she will be touched by you .

Lololololol @ the above.
Bull**** she's probably been going around throwing herself about like a tart!
Jib the bitch and get yourself someone who appreciates you!

that sounds sooo wrong!

any problem?

It was a joke fella
Welcome to wiki, take a look at our ue section.

AH Diggin you always sound positive to me i doubt very much you bitter and twiated

Wow fooking hell ste go easy lol

At last a thread where I can get my post count up! I have no idea what's going on!

WTF?.Neither do I!.

Its funny how this thread gets resurrected every few months, however, thanks for your kind comments Gypsy

Like a relationship with your ex....never truly dies

The original poster has probably married a new lass, by now? Cant believe that this thread is still going....

Be nice to find out what happened, maybe they DID get back together, it's been almost two years, maybe they've had a little Wikilette (can't see that word catching on, but who knows)

This is getting like a soap opera or perhaps those 80s Nescafe Gold Blend adverts. Will they won't they?.

Do you think?

obviously hanging out with the wrong type of people and personailty! get to know the person before you class it as serious!

Like the Wiki Zombie, it just refuses to lay down and stay dead....