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Posted By: MissGuided Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 19th Dec 2008 2:57pm
"A police force launched a Christmas 'drink-drivel' campaign today - warning that too much boozing will leave revellers lost for words.

Officers in Ipswich, Suffolk, listed phrases that are 'absolutely impossible' to say when drunk, including 'Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?'.

The poster campaign lists 'innovative', 'preliminary' and 'cinnamon' as words that are difficult to say in an inebriated state.

And 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' are classed as very difficult to master.

But, according to the poster, the nine 'absolutely impossible' phrases for drunks are:

* Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you;
* Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing;
* Sorry, but you're not really my type;
* No kebab for me, thank you;
* I'm not interested in fighting you;
* Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?;
* Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no rhythm;
* Where is the nearest toilet? I can't possibly vomit in the street;
* I must be going home now - I have work in the morning

Inspector Becky Kidd-Stanton, operations inspector for Ipswich, said: 'The drink-drivel poster campaign appeals to people to come to Ipswich to have a good time and not to spoil it for others.

'It highlights how people behave differently after consuming alcohol.'

Police are also handing out 900 lollipops as part of their attempt to tackle festive disorder.

'It is harder to verbally abuse or fight with people with a lollipop in your mouth or hand,' said Ms Kidd-Stanton."


I like that last bit about lollipops. Let's see who has trouble with 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' after this evening!! smile
Posted By: StuyMac Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 19th Dec 2008 3:10pm
Maybe they should hand lollipops out as you leave any club / pub at anytime of the year.... think

....Actually, I see an evolution of that being another problem by way of people getting a beating by lollipop raftl

Posted By: MGCraig Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 19th Dec 2008 7:30pm
LolliPop in the eye...

Stuy youve stated something here..you should be proud. A form of aggression that Toddlers can enjoy as well..
Posted By: Beemertastic Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 19th Dec 2008 7:51pm
hmmm...im sure you could class a lolipop as an offensive weapon...made or adapated to cause harm or injury?
come here sonny your nicked...
Posted By: MissGuided Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 19th Dec 2008 8:15pm
You could bite it into a sharp point and stab someone in the face with it!!

depends how big they are - if it was one of these:
[Linked Image]
that would be good - chav silencer!
but then you'll get the chav females trying to do this:
[Linked Image]
whether they have 20lb of cellulite on their thighs or not!
Posted By: Beemertastic Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 12:47pm
eeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuugh...i cant just see that happening on conway street
Posted By: Davey_Martin Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 1:54pm
blimey, that isn't a good thought!

as for the lollipop thing, wot if ppl do get into a fight with a lollipop in their mouth? surely it increases their risk of choking? - brilliant! haha
Posted By: Beemertastic Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 2:01pm
Originally Posted by Davey_Martin
blimey, that isn't a good thought!

as for the lollipop thing, wot if ppl do get into a fight with a lollipop in their mouth? surely it increases their risk of choking? - brilliant! haha


they will just sue plod for millions then...you can just see it now...quote"""cuz it wasnt him..he is a lovely lad. He wouldn't harm anyone. It wasn't him. He is a hero. He's a hero around here. All the lads love him around here. It was the bizzies' fault. They saw it coming. But they didn't do anything to stop it. They just let it carry on""""
Posted By: Davey_Martin Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 2:22pm
LOL!
Posted By: DavidB Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 2:36pm
When did the police get a sense of humour? They're so funny ...
Posted By: MissGuided Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 3:32pm
Damn it - I forgot to test saying any of the big complicated words last night! I had texting trouble instead. One of my messages to my other half read, 'I am gettigoi a leban' - which when translated means 'I am getting a kebab' and another which stated, 'I am in the clipper getting ripped as a duck'. smack
Posted By: Beemertastic Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 3:35pm
Originally Posted by Station
When did the police get a sense of humour? They're so funny ...

and whats that meant to mean?.......
Posted By: MissGuided Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 3:39pm
Originally Posted by Auditastic
Originally Posted by Station
When did the police get a sense of humour? They're so funny ...

and whats that meant to mean?.......

After your explanation of a recent apprehension of a man with a knife I truly believe police officers can have a sense of humour doh
Posted By: Beemertastic Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 4:07pm
haha...warped yes it may be...but some of us escaped the humor removal screening process in training....
Posted By: Wench Re: Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign - 20th Dec 2008 6:23pm
You certainly did!!! I'll never look at a car door the same way again raftl
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