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#995822 22nd Dec 2015 1:34pm
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I'm putting it here because I can't think of anywhere else.
This story is heartbreaking. As someone who has made a positive decision not to be dependent on my children (and I've got what I need to end my life when I feel the time is right), it doesn't personally affect me, but there's a lot of ageing people which it will. I'm actually surprised; I thought the culture in China treasured its old people.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35155548


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chriskay #995828 22nd Dec 2015 2:42pm
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Looks like they have read about Thatchers kids, who would believe they have adopted Tory policies in deepest China, look after yourselves first, take what you can and kick those who are struggling back down the ladder.

chriskay #995831 22nd Dec 2015 3:28pm
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At least the state is opening old peoples homes in China, most of ours have been closed.

I agree with Chris in that you should burden your kids as little as possible, what is the point of slowing down other people's lives, surely you want your kids to lead a more fulfilling life.


We don't do charity in Germany, we pay taxes. Charity is a failure of governments' responsibilities - Henning Wehn

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chriskay #995846 22nd Dec 2015 5:10pm
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Chinese do not have compassion, or an understanding of empathy.

Cold blooded and de-humanised in my opinion. Could be due to Communism, but I think it's in the generations of too many people and poverty. (whatever that has resulted from).

Very sad situation.


Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.
~Chief Seattle
granny #995861 22nd Dec 2015 5:41pm
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Originally Posted by granny
Chinese do not have compassion, or an understanding of empathy.

Cold blooded and de-humanised in my opinion. Could be due to Communism, but I think it's in the generations of too many people and poverty. (whatever that has resulted from).

Very sad situation.


Would think it goes back way before communism. A friend of mine with Chinese parents thinks its a lot to do with culture ancestry and religious beliefs going back thousands of years. Things are changing over there but persecution is keeping a cap on it. They have imported westernism on a big scale which is going to bring in a load more problems as well as some plusses.

diggingdeeper #995865 22nd Dec 2015 5:55pm
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Yes I agree with you on not burdening the kids, but there is a difference with not burdening and basically being thrown to the wolves.

chriskay #995926 23rd Dec 2015 12:24am
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I dont agree with 'burdening the kids' TOO much, but I think its good for the younger generation to shoulder some responsibility for older members of the family .Makes the former less self centred, nicer more understanding people.Needs to be a balance though, of course and not all 'children' are in a position to help their parents anyway. The situation in China sounds dreadfully sad.

chriskay #995929 23rd Dec 2015 1:17am
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I think my Grandad at 95 years of age is the only one who pays for his care, in his Old Peoples Home. Does not seem fair, I get that!!

He gets no preferential treatment from other state funded residents. My sister did try to encourage him to move to a 'posh home' but being a penny pinching,life-long Tory he won't. Even now at his age.

People are strange.

RUDEBOX #996016 23rd Dec 2015 7:33pm
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as what you call a penny pinching life long tory, he has made sure he is Not a financial burden on others. Nothing wrong in that outlook on life.


Ships that pass in the night, seldom seen and soon forgoten
jimbob #996044 23rd Dec 2015 9:48pm
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Originally Posted by jimbob
as what you call a penny pinching life long tory, he has made sure he is Not a financial burden on others. Nothing wrong in that outlook on life.
I agree but he could be funding a 'better' experience for himself. Now, at 95 is surely the time to 'splash out' and live a little?

chriskay #996075 24th Dec 2015 9:56am
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It's nice to know he can still make up his own mind, without being pushed around ! That is what the topic is about....and he wouldn't have a better experience. Still sit in a chair all day and talk to the next man who's lost his marbles.


Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.
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granny #996080 24th Dec 2015 10:24am
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Originally Posted by granny
It's nice to know he can still make up his own mind, without being pushed around ! That is what the topic is about....and he wouldn't have a better experience. Still sit in a chair all day and talk to the next man who's lost his marbles.


We go to visit my mum in law who is in a care home, it is so depressing to see them all sat around some are unable to communicate because of acute deafness or speech problems, some suffer from dementure, most are asleep, mum in law suffers from slight dementure, sometimes she is lucid other times she rambles or doesnt know who we are, there are a couple of ladies who are bright and funny and we interact with them if mum is asleep, but not much of an existence for them all, only thing that can be said is that they are warm and fed.


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