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#783746 7th Apr 2013 3:07pm
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WORRIED that nobody will show up at your funeral? Look no further than Rent A Mourner, an Essex-based company providing sad people for funerals when (as its website delicately puts it) "there may be a low turnout expected".

scared you'll die alone? Don't be, Rent A Mourner will see to your funeral guest list

Bookings are also on the up because people want something more dramatic than a mousey British send-off. They want sobbing, hair tearing and breast beating, in the way of excitable foreigners.

We had professional mourners in Victorian times, known as "mutes". They looked tragic during the service and doubled as waiters for the wake. Dickens despised them and in the funeral in Martin Chuzzlewit he describes: "Two mutes… looking as mournful as could reasonably be expected of men with such a thriving job in hand."

Yes, a career in professional mourning could be the answer. Short hours, free booze and all the ham sandwiches you can eat.

link

Last edited by eddtheduck; 7th Apr 2013 3:09pm.
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Ha ha, this so made me laugh!! My biggest fear is that my church is empty at my funeral, so my daughter said, "don't worry mum we will rent some mourners"". I will pass her the link just in case. laffin laffin

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I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!

Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!


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I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway!

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I was thinking about not going to mine.....

Now THAT would mess things up a bit.

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Originally Posted by Rambo
I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway!
Bollox-just leave your recipes x

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Rambo- I designate you Press Officer regardingmy death!!!!
Originally Posted by RUDEBOX
I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!

Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!


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if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time


ALWAYS REMEMBER BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU:::::::: Have a nice day and an even better one tomorrow
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Originally Posted by reddragon
if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time

you clearly have never seen 'final destination'


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