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#783746 - 7th Apr 2013 4:07pm Professional mourners
eddtheduck Offline
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Registered: 21st Feb 2011
Posts: 1293
Loc: happy place
WORRIED that nobody will show up at your funeral? Look no further than Rent A Mourner, an Essex-based company providing sad people for funerals when (as its website delicately puts it) "there may be a low turnout expected".

scared you'll die alone? Don't be, Rent A Mourner will see to your funeral guest list

Bookings are also on the up because people want something more dramatic than a mousey British send-off. They want sobbing, hair tearing and breast beating, in the way of excitable foreigners.

We had professional mourners in Victorian times, known as "mutes". They looked tragic during the service and doubled as waiters for the wake. Dickens despised them and in the funeral in Martin Chuzzlewit he describes: "Two mutes… looking as mournful as could reasonably be expected of men with such a thriving job in hand."

Yes, a career in professional mourning could be the answer. Short hours, free booze and all the ham sandwiches you can eat.

link


Edited by eddtheduck (7th Apr 2013 4:09pm)
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#783835 - 7th Apr 2013 7:09pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: eddtheduck]
pegsgirl Offline
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Registered: 29th Oct 2011
Posts: 235
Loc: wirral
Ha ha, this so made me laugh!! My biggest fear is that my church is empty at my funeral, so my daughter said, "don't worry mum we will rent some mourners"". I will pass her the link just in case. laffin laffin

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#783906 - 7th Apr 2013 9:53pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: eddtheduck]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18995
Loc: Bob Land
I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!

Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!
_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#783914 - 7th Apr 2013 10:09pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: eddtheduck]
Rambo Offline
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Registered: 4th Jul 2012
Posts: 230
Loc: Usually at work!
I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway!

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#783917 - 7th Apr 2013 10:12pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: eddtheduck]
TheDr Offline
Forum Master

Registered: 23rd Feb 2010
Posts: 2631
Loc: Wirral
I was thinking about not going to mine.....

Now THAT would mess things up a bit.

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#783919 - 7th Apr 2013 10:14pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: Rambo]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18995
Loc: Bob Land
Originally Posted By: Rambo
I honestly couldn't give a flying fook if no one turned up to my funeral, most of the 'mourners' would only be there to make sure I was really dead anyway!
Bollox-just leave your recipes x
_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#783923 - 7th Apr 2013 10:19pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: RUDEBOX]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18995
Loc: Bob Land
Rambo- I designate you Press Officer regardingmy death!!!!
Originally Posted By: RUDEBOX
I would rather have genuine 'mourners' at my 'Do'. My fear is that my husband would be so consumed with grief that he won't actually tell anybody- especially online- that I'm dead!!!

Peeps would just think that I've had my internet cut off!!!

_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#783937 - 7th Apr 2013 11:22pm Re: Professional mourners [Re: RUDEBOX]
reddragon Offline
Forum Guardian

Registered: 22nd Mar 2010
Posts: 3902
Loc: bromborough/wirral
if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time
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ALWAYS REMEMBER BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU:::::::: Have a nice day and an even better one tomorrow

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#783969 - 8th Apr 2013 7:30am Re: Professional mourners [Re: reddragon]
j_demo Offline
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Registered: 4th Nov 2011
Posts: 1827
Loc: Wallasey/New Brighton
Originally Posted By: reddragon
if I knew the exact date / time and location of my death Id ensure I was nowhere near that point at that time

you clearly have never seen 'final destination'

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