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#769569 - 18th Feb 2013 1:37pm memorial gifts, agree or disagree
rocks Offline

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Registered: 2nd Apr 2011
Posts: 6623
Loc: 3/4 of the way there....
do you think people should be allowed to leave memorial gifts in a public place? or do you consider them to look an eye sore when weather beaten?
IMHO i think as people we feel the need to leave gifts in a place where someone has died or a place strongly connected to the person, especially if its a child but i also think once flowers are dead you should go back and remove the plastic and bows etc
http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/102348...al_park/?ref=la
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#769571 - 18th Feb 2013 1:46pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
Salmon Offline
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Registered: 8th Oct 2011
Posts: 1698
Loc: Wallasey
I am in a very small minority I know but I think it is crazy the way people now feel almost obliged to leave masses of flowers etc. near to where a person has died.I just think all it serves is to line the pockets of flower sellers and those who sell memorials.I do not think we need public shows of emotion to remember a loved one.The amount of money spent would IMO be better spent on enriching the lives of the living needy.

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#769578 - 18th Feb 2013 2:25pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: Salmon]
stu6278 Offline
Member

Registered: 20th Sep 2010
Posts: 73
Loc: New Brighton
Originally Posted By: Salmon
I am in a very small minority I know but I think it is crazy the way people now feel almost obliged to leave masses of flowers etc. near to where a person has died.I just think all it serves is to line the pockets of flower sellers and those who sell memorials.I do not think we need public shows of emotion to remember a loved one.The amount of money spent would IMO be better spent on enriching the lives of the living needy.


I agree with you Salmon. I don't think you're in such a small minority.

From the article it looks like the grieving Mum has had the memorial there since last summer. It's nice she's been allowed to do that and hopefully it's helped but there has to be a point where enough is enough. Take it to its logical conclusion and people would be putting up memorials wherever anyone died. Every street corner would be full of tatty half-dying flowers and plastic ornaments.

I've had several close family die and have never saw the need to start erecting memorials at the exact spot they died. I recognise everyone grieves in their own way, but if you want a focus for your grief then what's wrong with Landican etc?

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#769580 - 18th Feb 2013 2:32pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
stickybeak Offline
Newbeee

Registered: 30th Dec 2012
Posts: 37
Loc: wallasey
I also agree with salmon, keep your loved ones in your heart, and your money for the living, memories last a lifetime,

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#769581 - 18th Feb 2013 2:35pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: stu6278]
OxtonHill Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 2nd Jun 2009
Posts: 311
Loc: Oxton
I dislike them personally, find it a very foreign attitude.But if you have to do it, give it a week and then YOU go back and remove it all. Sadly as part of the human race we all move on. Dead flowers, faded photos don't look that good 2 weeks on let alone months later.
This post is in no way an attack on the greiving process, we all come to terms with loss in our own way, but I think that process is a private one.

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#769588 - 18th Feb 2013 3:08pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: OxtonHill]
chriskay Offline
Forum Veteran

Registered: 25th Oct 2007
Posts: 4868
Loc: shropshire
This is a fairly recent phenomenon; I don't remember it happening maybe 10 years ago. I think that after a couple of days, the tributes begin to look tatty and should be removed; in fact I don't think they should have been placed at all. I have to admit that I haven't seen the hut in the linked article; that sounds well maintained.
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#769589 - 18th Feb 2013 3:14pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: chriskay]
Uffda Offline
Smartchild

Registered: 2nd Jan 2011
Posts: 494
Loc: Wallasey Village
I think all memorials should be kept on the grave not littering the roads etc.

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#769594 - 18th Feb 2013 3:38pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
TeamAJ Offline
Newbeee

Registered: 31st Jul 2011
Posts: 32
Loc: New Brighton
I don't see any harm in it? So a bunch of flowers might not look as pretty a week later, a photo may become a bit tatty and weather beaten. So what. What difference does it make? None to me anyway. I wouldnt turn my nose up at a memorial that was looking a bit tatty or looked amazingly well kept. I would rather that than a pile of litter or dog mess that has been left due to sheer laziness and not left as a reminder.

Some of the roadside ones where collisons etc have taken place, serve as a reminder of a bad spot or accident prone area and might make people slow down or be a bit more observant.

Being local to New Brighton I saw the memorial for the 2 teenagers who sadly lost their lives in the river on August bank holiday 2011. Standing where friends and family had laid gifts of flowers, teddies, pics, messages and balloons, made people stop and take in what had happened. It was a serene spot and lovely to read what their friends and family had left behind and their memories of them both. If it helps family and friends to have a spot to go to, I really don't see an issue with it at all. That is my opinion though. I wouldn't chose to go to the cemetary and visit the grave of someone I didn't know but I was able to walk to the memorial in passing and pay my respects and remember what happened.

It really makes no odds to me whether their are memorials around the borough or not. If it helps a grieving mother and father after the loss of their child then I see no harm.

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#769597 - 18th Feb 2013 3:41pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: Uffda]
rossie Offline
Addict

Registered: 7th Oct 2011
Posts: 263
Loc: moreton
Regarding this particular one it has made a difference to the hut.Young people are sitting there talking. The flowers brighten the hut up. It used to be a dingy place with teenagers climbing on the roof and throwing bottles and cans all around that has all stopped. It is out of sight of the children's play area.Dog walkers go in and sit down an event that never previously happened as I suspect that they were a bit afraid of the gangs that congregated there.I have also noticed a coming to-gethor of generations pensioners talking to teenagers.All positive outcomes from a very sad event.Daniel did not die in the park he died in Bromborough.It seems to me that a compromise could be reached with the emphasis moving from shrine to a place of peace for everybody.I must say that Upton is unique in being the only park that I know of that does not have a single flower bed.

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#769607 - 18th Feb 2013 4:24pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
losttheplot Offline
Beginner

Registered: 10th Feb 2013
Posts: 6
Loc: wirral
I think leaving flowers are fine when its from friends /family that actually know the person but when complete strangers start leading things out of all proportion it does become something else.

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#769615 - 18th Feb 2013 4:48pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
taylor4898 Offline
Member

Registered: 23rd May 2011
Posts: 96
Loc: wirral
I think it's fine to leave things there for a week or so, but they should go back and remove dead flowers etc.

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#769811 - 18th Feb 2013 10:18pm Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: taylor4898]
venice Offline

Forum Master

Registered: 21st Jul 2011
Posts: 2418
Loc: Wirral
withthat

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#771167 - 23rd Feb 2013 8:38am Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
Littlemink Offline
Newbeee

Registered: 18th Jul 2012
Posts: 24
Loc: Wirral
Maybe a week then council can move them. They become tatty then and no good in anyones memory. Maybe a plastic card should be left too stating the date that is being remembered and whom of course.

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#771195 - 23rd Feb 2013 10:04am Re: memorial gifts, agree or disagree [Re: rocks]
Dilly Offline

Wiki Addict

Registered: 17th Jul 2011
Posts: 7545
Loc: wallasey
There was or maybe still is a permenant memorial to Diane Sindall on Borough rd Birkenhead, she was sadly murdered somewhere near to its position. This is the only one of its type I know of, as for flowers I don't have a problem as long as they a cleared away in a reasonable time.

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