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#670024 - 23rd Feb 2012 11:42pm How do you cope with personal problems ?
paxvobiscum Offline
Forum Guide

Registered: 31st May 2011
Posts: 1084
Loc: Upton
Do you bottle things up, or ask friends for advice,or ride the storm?

I find straight talking best or some positive action, and never make a decision just before bed, as things are not as dark the next day. Is this your experience?

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#670037 - 23rd Feb 2012 11:58pm Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
Sarah_ZR Offline
Wiki Veteran

Registered: 8th Jul 2011
Posts: 8484
Loc: wirral
Yep mine is the same

I'm a very strait talking person, most my family and friends are, always have and always will.

Sometimes I bite my lip so I don't hurt people's feelins but you come to a stage in life where it comes out anyway.

I still do believe in talking to someone if you have a problem, seems to ease it I think

All tho my orther half sometimes bottles it up then explods!!

Maybe a man thing lol in a non sexist way before the male members shout at me lol

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#670053 - 24th Feb 2012 2:29am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18994
Loc: Bob Land
I'm lucky...my Best Mate has a Degree in Counselling. (C.B.T to be specific). So I can rant away.....safe in the knowledge that she is highly trained in 'listening skills' , using micro skills like paraphrasing, restating and all that.....
_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#670054 - 24th Feb 2012 2:31am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18994
Loc: Bob Land
She sorts me out .
_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#670057 - 24th Feb 2012 2:43am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
RUDEBOX Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Aug 2008
Posts: 18994
Loc: Bob Land
'Advice' is personal to the advisor, not the reciever...
Comments that involve the word 'should' get my back right up......Ex. "You should have blah blah..."
(Very feckin helpful isn't it - after the fact)? Feckin KnowItAll!!!
_________________________
Mia Mabel


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#670058 - 24th Feb 2012 2:46am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
Shadow_Omega Offline

Wise One

Registered: 29th Apr 2009
Posts: 871
Loc: Leasowe
I never tell anyone my troubles because it'll only inconvenience them. They remain in my head to rot away with the other "one" that's sat there since 1997 cringing to escape by any means necessary, But they'll never get out until i say so. The world forged me to suppress myself and carry on with the mundane reality. I've had several attempts of being figured out by BCT and various other psychological methods including anti depressants, All of which have failed. One Day The "One" Will be satisfied and only then will i be able to live happily as the domino effect takes care of the rest.

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#670061 - 24th Feb 2012 3:42am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
MattLFC Offline
Wiki Master

Registered: 14th Aug 2004
Posts: 22315
Loc: Moreton/Beirut/Mobile
I find it easier to just choose not to have any.

smile

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#670077 - 24th Feb 2012 7:33am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
cathie Offline
Smartchild

Registered: 19th Feb 2009
Posts: 448
Loc: Birkenhead
A coffee & chinwag with my bestest girlies usually sorts out the worlds problems but even if it doesn't I always feel better for talking about it

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#670092 - 24th Feb 2012 9:25am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
Tatey Offline
Forum Addict

Registered: 14th Apr 2009
Posts: 1412
Loc: New Brighton
Originally Posted By: paxvobiscum
Do you bottle things up, or ask friends for advice,or ride the storm?

I find straight talking best or some positive action, and never make a decision just before bed, as things are not as dark the next day. Is this your experience?


I was born in 1943 & as I was brought up with the "grin & bear it" mentality that is what I still do to this day.

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#670108 - 24th Feb 2012 10:49am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: Tatey]
rhoobarb2002 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 13th Aug 2011
Posts: 677
Loc: Wirral
Originally Posted By: Tatey
I was brought up with the "grin & bear it" mentality that is what I still do to this day.


^This. Other than the wife, nobody knows. TBH I prefer it that way, my problems are just that, mine. I see no relief in discussing them with others.

Its like when people say 'Hi, you alright?'. It doesnt matter if you are in mental hell, you still say 'yeah' because no-one actually wants to hear your problems. They have problems of their own.

Who wants to be the one people avoid because they wear their heart on their sleeve and bring everybody down?


Edited by rhoobarb2002 (24th Feb 2012 10:49am)

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#670112 - 24th Feb 2012 11:07am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
BandyCoot Online   Reading

Forum Veteran

Registered: 7th Dec 2008
Posts: 5334
Loc: Birkenhead
I'm the same as Tatey, only a year older. I do tend to tell people what I think though and sometimes they take it personal, but I find that's better then bottling it up. If someone is winding me up I tell them and then it can be sorted. With circumstances I just try and reason it through in my own head, if I can't sort it I just get on doing something else. It's getting easier now because my memory is on it's way. When I was in training I used to help the kids out, I was the "Father Figure", it was amazing some of the probs they had but they didn't have the life experience I had.
If it's just smelling then I have a shower.
oldman
_________________________
Birkenhead........ God's own Room 101.

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#670114 - 24th Feb 2012 11:15am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
granny Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Jun 2011
Posts: 13475
Loc: Wirral
Originally Posted By: paxvobiscum
Do you bottle things up, or ask friends for advice,or ride the storm?

I find straight talking best or some positive action, and never make a decision just before bed, as things are not as dark the next day. Is this your experience?



Hard to say which is the best way of dealing with personal problems,trauma or the rubbish life flings at us, in general.
The last 30 years have been like a catalogue of errors for myself and each issue, seemed to be more major than the last one.As Tatey posts, we grit our teeth and get on with it.. until desensitization kicks in. That, is most definitely where I am now. I will deal with anything in the best way possible for all, as and when, but seem to have subconsciously trained myslf into 'go with the flow' attitude. Once we become parents, we build an inner strength which I believe prepares us for the future.
I sleep like a Baby, and trained myself into it, by repeatedly telling myself that, going to bed at night was for sleeping and problems could be dealt with in the morning.
I feel for those who carry burdens through life (which I am sure we all do to a certain degree) but some more than most. It must be the most wonderful feeling to be able to have those burdens lifted, but most of us carry our load and just move on to the next.
Probably the best bit of coping is not to dwell on things we can't change and to involve ourselves with those less fortunate. There ia ALWAYS somebody worse off than ourselves.
One final point, to which I can hear the screams now.'Faith' it gives us an inner peace, a sense of belonging and a reason for living. pray


Edited by granny (24th Feb 2012 11:24am)
_________________________
...and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.FN

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#670140 - 24th Feb 2012 1:34pm Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
Wench Offline

H4H County Volunteer
Wiki Veteran

Registered: 9th Aug 2008
Posts: 8616
Loc: Second Circle of Hell.
I'm a "stick it in a mental box, lock it & throw away the key" kind of girl. I find it hard to show emotion, but I think that's a cross between having an Army Dad and the job I used to do. If I am really struggling with something, I'm lucky enough to have 3 really good friends that I trust with my life plus my Mum & Brother.
_________________________
Sometimes Police Officers give more than just speeding tickets!

Itís hard to be fit as a fiddle when youíre shaped like a cello!

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#670299 - 25th Feb 2012 1:25am Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: Shadow_Omega]
granny Offline

Wiki Master

Registered: 29th Jun 2011
Posts: 13475
Loc: Wirral
Shadow Omega you are so sad. If you would like to natter at someone then please do. You can send a pm.
_________________________
...and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.FN

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#670449 - 25th Feb 2012 3:36pm Re: How do you cope with personal problems ? [Re: paxvobiscum]
Lightning Offline
Forum Master

Registered: 24th Jan 2012
Posts: 2397
Loc: different one and love it
Originally Posted By: paxvobiscum
Do you bottle things up, or ask friends for advice,or ride the storm?

I find straight talking best or some positive action, and never make a decision just before bed, as things are not as dark the next day. Is this your experience?

Depends what the problem is,or who is it with.
I deal mostly with mine by myself and have a great mate that i can talk to as well.
used to bottle things up but not anymore.I deal with it.
_________________________
Confidence is feeling satisfied with who and what we are.




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