You attend the County Court (or go online depending on the value) to make a small claim, you can get the bailiff to serve the summons (or use a process server) to ensure that they get it, they then have 21 days in which to reply or make a counter claim. If they do it can go to a full hearing, if not it may then go before a County Court Judge who can make a judgement in default after hearing no evidence from the defendant (the service by a bailiff ensuring that they cannot later claim not to have received it).
If they wanted a full breakdown of how to obtain a Court Summons and possibly get a CCJ then a tongue-in-cheek comment on how to get things moving wouldn't really have been the best place, it wasn't intended as a breakdown of how to do it, just exactly how it was intended, a light-hearted look at how even when you think someone has the deck firmly stacked against you there is always a way to turn the table in your favour.
How exactly is he going to get a CCJ from the county court and the bailiffs on him?
Simples, see above
To get a CCJ, there first has to be a court appearance, through the Small Claims Court, then he will have to win the case, then they will be asked to pay, only then if they don't pay will a CCJ be issued and the bailiffs sent in. Plus, the personal officer wouldn't be taken to court, it would be the police force as a whole.
No there doesn't have to be an appearance, the paperwork can all be done without anyone present, especially if no contest is made to the claim.
A CCJ is a Judgement against them, they will have a limited time in which to pay.
The bailiff can serve the original summons, you do pay extra for this.
You can make a claim against anyone for any reason, it may not succeed and the officer can request that it be made against the force but you CAN make a claim against the officer in person as it was she who lost the keys.
It's not as easy as you make out, and the police will know that you are chatting shi*
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and for some that little can be a minute amount
First thing to do is go down and demand to speak the Sergeant in charge. If you get no joy with him, then you can go to the IPCC, Independent Police Complaints. Keep all receipts for any costs you have incurred.
Personally I'd ask for the Duty Inspector as the Sergeant wouldn't have the authority to have someone resolve the situation the same day.
IPCC don't really deal with that area, you'll probably find that the Professional Standards are a better place to look for help in something like this.
If the police have locksmiths they can call on, if they do all the work there wont be any receipts, and them doing it is cheaper than having to pay you for it being towed away first. But do keep anything else it has cost you, taxi rides etc.
If you were innocent, then try contacting the papers to shame the police into coming to a deal. "Police wrongly arrested me and lost my car keys". Doesn't work as well if you were guilty though.
I always thought a person was innocent until PROVEN guilty, and even if they WERE guilty (of who knows what), what difference does that make to who is responsible for losing the keys ?