Forums Forums National News Ipswich Police Drink-Drivel Campaign

"A police force launched a Christmas 'drink-drivel' campaign today - warning that too much boozing will leave revellers lost for words.

Officers in Ipswich, Suffolk, listed phrases that are 'absolutely impossible' to say when drunk, including 'Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?'.

The poster campaign lists 'innovative', 'preliminary' and 'cinnamon' as words that are difficult to say in an inebriated state.

And 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' are classed as very difficult to master.

But, according to the poster, the nine 'absolutely impossible' phrases for drunks are:

* Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you;
* Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing;
* Sorry, but you're not really my type;
* No kebab for me, thank you;
* I'm not interested in fighting you;
* Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?;
* Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no rhythm;
* Where is the nearest toilet? I can't possibly vomit in the street;
* I must be going home now - I have work in the morning

Inspector Becky Kidd-Stanton, operations inspector for Ipswich, said: 'The drink-drivel poster campaign appeals to people to come to Ipswich to have a good time and not to spoil it for others.

'It highlights how people behave differently after consuming alcohol.'

Police are also handing out 900 lollipops as part of their attempt to tackle festive disorder.

'It is harder to verbally abuse or fight with people with a lollipop in your mouth or hand,' said Ms Kidd-Stanton."


I like that last bit about lollipops. Let's see who has trouble with 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' after this evening!!

Maybe they should hand lollipops out as you leave any club / pub at anytime of the year....

....Actually, I see an evolution of that being another problem by way of people getting a beating by lollipop

LolliPop in the eye...

Stuy youve stated something here..you should be proud. A form of aggression that Toddlers can enjoy as well..

hmmm...im sure you could class a lolipop as an offensive weapon...made or adapated to cause harm or injury?
come here sonny your nicked...

You could bite it into a sharp point and stab someone in the face with it!!

depends how big they are - if it was one of these:

that would be good - chav silencer!
but then you'll get the chav females trying to do this:

whether they have 20lb of cellulite on their thighs or not!

eeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuugh...i cant just see that happening on conway street

blimey, that isn't a good thought!

as for the lollipop thing, wot if ppl do get into a fight with a lollipop in their mouth? surely it increases their risk of choking? - brilliant! haha

they will just sue plod for millions then...you can just see it now...quote"""cuz it wasnt him..he is a lovely lad. He wouldn't harm anyone. It wasn't him. He is a hero. He's a hero around here. All the lads love him around here. It was the bizzies' fault. They saw it coming. But they didn't do anything to stop it. They just let it carry on""""

LOL!

When did the police get a sense of humour? They're so funny ...

Damn it - I forgot to test saying any of the big complicated words last night! I had texting trouble instead. One of my messages to my other half read, 'I am gettigoi a leban' - which when translated means 'I am getting a kebab' and another which stated, 'I am in the clipper getting ripped as a duck'.

and whats that meant to mean?.......

After your explanation of a recent apprehension of a man with a knife I truly believe police officers can have a sense of humour

haha...warped yes it may be...but some of us escaped the humor removal screening process in training....

You certainly did!!! I'll never look at a car door the same way again