"A police force launched a Christmas 'drink-drivel' campaign today - warning that too much boozing will leave revellers lost for words.
Officers in Ipswich, Suffolk, listed phrases that are 'absolutely impossible' to say when drunk, including 'Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?'.
The poster campaign lists 'innovative', 'preliminary' and 'cinnamon' as words that are difficult to say in an inebriated state.
And 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' are classed as very difficult to master.
But, according to the poster, the nine 'absolutely impossible' phrases for drunks are:
* Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you;
* Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing;
* Sorry, but you're not really my type;
* No kebab for me, thank you;
* I'm not interested in fighting you;
* Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?;
* Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no rhythm;
* Where is the nearest toilet? I can't possibly vomit in the street;
* I must be going home now - I have work in the morning
Inspector Becky Kidd-Stanton, operations inspector for Ipswich, said: 'The drink-drivel poster campaign appeals to people to come to Ipswich to have a good time and not to spoil it for others.
'It highlights how people behave differently after consuming alcohol.'
Police are also handing out 900 lollipops as part of their attempt to tackle festive disorder.
'It is harder to verbally abuse or fight with people with a lollipop in your mouth or hand,' said Ms Kidd-Stanton."
I like that last bit about lollipops. Let's see who has trouble with 'specificity, 'passive-aggressive disorder' and 'transubstantiate' after this evening!!